Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Happy Birthday Hubs

Today is my hubs birthday. He's 42 now. And I like that about him...since I'm going to be 35 in July it's nice to know that he's always going to be older (yes I really feel like that - I'm sick).

So, for the past week I have been catering to his every wish and desire (and I actually mean that). We celebrate our birthdays for a week. We act like 5 year olds. I'm ok with this too, I think it keeps us young. If you can't look forward to your birthday and Christmas - what good is it? You know?

So there have been home made food treats, there have been small presents. There has been a surprise nearly every day. I'm actually proud that I did it every day. There was even a trip to the dairy queen for a blizzard (I got in on that treat).

The big present is a present we are splitting for both of our birthdays. We are getting an ipad. Exciting times. We might actually be catching up to the rest of the world in technology.

All of this is good. All of this makes for a great week and a great birthday for him. It makes me happy (honestly - no bull shitting here today) that he's happy. I want him to feel special. After having 3 kids pretty close together - I need him to know that he's important you know? I'm starting my summer schedule this week, and we don't see a ton of each other so I need him to have a good birthday.

here's the bitch.

He invited his mother over. AUGH. I was supposed to work tonight, but got a friend to pick up the shift for me so I could celebrate his birthday. He invited his mother before he knew I was doing that. So now I get to spend a friggen evening with my in-laws.


Yes, I sound dramatic. But his mother drives me up one wall and down another. And in case she is not enough to make my evening super pleasant...she lives with hubs sister and so hubs sister and probably her teenage son are coming too. I'm crossing my fingers that her husband doesn't come. And I'm not joking.

Hubs brother? love him. He's adorable and sweet. His wife? I can take. We're not going to be best of friends, but she is amazing to my kids and can come over and we'll have a good time you know?

The rest of them? Can suck it.

Here's an example of how I get talked to - and yes this will sound petty, but add it up for 10 years and maybe you'll get me.

We had hubs brother and wife over for dinner and we told hubs mom. I made the comment that hubs brother likes my cooking (which he does cause he has good taste). Hubs mother said "Oh he'll eat anything". Yeah bitch? Did I hear that right?

Nothing I have ever done or said is up to her standards (which is hysterical if you met the rest of the family). I just wish she'd cut me some slack.

2 years ago for Christmas she for some reason gave me and hubs cash for our gift (not complaining but she is really into Christmas like we are...so cash was like what? I would never do that...oh well). Well, guess what. Hubs literally got twice as much as me.


My parents bend over backwards to make sure they spend the same (like my mom will get twitchy about $5 over on someone) on every person - including in-laws. My MIL thinks it's ok to very blatantly give me less. I knew she spent less, but wow. When you're giving cash...you really should spend the same.

This year? She gave me a christmas candle from K-mart (tag on it said $9.99 but I'm guessing sale). And she also gave me 3 generic ornaments that had my sons name written on. Not only were the written on with a marker but they were like this "son1" in quotation marks.

Yup, probably sound petty again. You can spend $5 on me. As long as you spent some time going I bet Heather would really like this. (meaning you would get me $5 worth of coffee, or a book, or something). How not to shop for me? At the dollar store, or picking up random crap that someone either gave you or you got on clearance and said - yeah she won't ever know. (I know I'm not as slow as I appear).

So wow bitter today;) Here's to wishing hubs and happy birthday and to me being able to keep my fat mouth shut (oh lord).

Friday, May 27, 2011

Sweet Chicken - let summer begin

As I write this, I just got home from having lunch with my husband at his office. He works in the construction industry so his office is never in the same place for very long. Currently he is approximately 4 miles away from my house (YEA).

It took me 20 minutes to get home. Normally it would take me 10.

Let summer begin.

The shoobies are coming (for those of you who don't know - shoobies are tourists. They are called shoobies because they used to come for the day and pack their lunch in a shoe box. In Michigan tourist up north are called fudgies for the amount of fudge they buy.)

Anyhoo - right wrong or indifferent, this kicks off our summer season.

Now the waitress part of me? I'm actually glad. I start my 4 day week this week again...I'd rather not be super bored there (although the reality is that given my shifts I will bored for a few more weeks after this week-end). I want it to be busy. Bring on the money!

The other non-working side of me? oh lord I'm not ready for the craziness.

I drove by my grocery store on the way to hubs office. The parking lot was full. and I mean it. Cars were circling to find a spot. Bad news about this? I have to go there today. Good news about this? I ordered my groceries online this week and only have to pick them up and pay for them.

The start of summer, while good for my economy, is always dreaded and loved. I love that all the restaurants are opening again (so many of them close here). I love that we can walk up to the boardwalk and get some ice cream. I dread trying to go to Walmart (which I need to do in the next few days). I dread trying to pick up my 2 kids who are at 2 different schools today in 2 different directions on my island. I dread the fist pumping Jersey Shore wannabe's (to be clear my part of the shore is much nicer than their's:) tee hee hee).

It all starts today and it gets super serious on 4th of July week-end. It's busy and it's fierce. My island has 4 towns technically (ok 5 technically but the 5th is just township ground that was never "claimed" and the township has no business being here...long story). The year round population is somewhere around 15,000. In the summer? My 1 island, 5 miles long and no where near a mile wide in most places is being bumped up to a population of around 250,000.

That's right 250,000. That only includes this island right here. We have islands to our north that get about the same influx and 1 town to our south that may even get more.

Garden State Parkway? Forget about it.

Trying to get to Atlantic City or Philly? Bring a book you'll be stuck in traffic for a while.

Like I said - I'm not complaining THAT much. This is how our towns survive and so does my wallet.

But, it's tricky. I do a lot of shopping about an hour away...towards Philly. It's where my closest target, kohl's and bj's are. I have to be a commando super woman to plan these trips so we don't spend 3 hours getting home.

So, part of me says bring it. Bring on the summer bbq (LOVE), bring on the lazy days, bring on the drinks on the deck at work (on an inlet of the ocean - AWESOME)...but please help me survive the traffic, the crazy tourists, and the assholes.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Working Vs Staying home

Part of me really loves this topic. Why you ask? Because. Some people (not most but some) are so friggen righteous about either choice. "I work and that makes me supermom" or "I have sacrificed and coupon 40 hours a week so I could be a good mom and stay home" (which by the way - if you're couponing 40 hours a week...why not go to work?).

Although I work still, because it's the "night" shift or because I work only 1 night a week for 6 months I am lumped in with the staying home crowd. Which is fine, but I feel the need to justify myself...I work in the summer blah blah blah.

So without judging, and without justifying myself here's a list of the give ups and receives from my little arrangement (winter work 4 pm 1 night a week usually done by 10. Summer work 4 pm 4 nights a week sometimes 5 and not done until 11-midnight).

Lunch. I gave up going out to lunch - which is something that I like. Right now I am eating tuna from a bowl with a dessert of some popcorn. In exchange? I picked up cocktails after work. I could go either way with this judgment - neither side wins.

Going to the store during working hours (*gasp* I know) or on my way home with no kids. I received going to Walmart after work in the winter (they are open until midnight) so there aren't any crowds. In the summer I will have to bust it to get there before they close but we'll see. Once again? This one might just be a draw.

Seeing my husband at work or a chance of it. We both worked in the same company and sometimes we even had an office together (although I would not work for him cause that was ugly when we tried it. Now I don't see him hardly at all in the summer. So working during the day wins that one.

Playing on the computer. I used to be able to jump on the computer at work and check email, shop, or whatever during the day (it wasn't all I did but come on - who with an office job doesn't do this?). Now? if I get caught with my phone on me or using it I should say I could potentially be fired. Seriously. Seen it happen. So working during the day wins.

Ni-Night time is my favorite time of the day. I get to spend time with hubs, get some things done that I hadn't gotten done cause I was gone all day. Ni-night time is still my favorite time of the day...but I'm done when it hits. I rarely do anything except a load of laundry at the end of my day cause I've been here all freaking day. on top of that in the summer time I miss this time of day 4 nights. So my nights off are just that. Day time work should win this one too.

Talking with adults. When I worked during the day I could talk to "adults" (And I use that term loosely) during the day. Now I can when either hubs gets home or I go to work. And, I have started having a couple of friends over once a week for "coffee" (aka bitching). I'm going to say night work with this. I have made some really awesome friends at the restaurant, and I worked in construction before. I didn't have a ton in common with the guys I worked with.

Money. Yes, on paper I made much more money working during the day. But I had to work 40 hours a week to make it. During the summer I make much more per week than I did getting a paycheck...and I'm not driving everywhere. I'm not paying someone to take care of my kids (would have been basically my whole paycheck). I enjoyed the stability of the paycheck working during the day? But I like the outcome of working at night better.

So, if you haven't caught on, I do not see one side being better. I do not see one side being a better mom or a worse mom. I see it as same but different. I don't see one or the other being a sacrifice. I see ALL mom's sacrificing...that's what we do right?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Enough Already

omg. I know I bitch a lot. But I created this little blog as an outlet of my bitching (and hoping to find the humor behind my bitching). I do not call people and demand that they actually listen to my bitching, I put it up here for the world to see...and if they don't like? They don't have to come back.

My friend Hannah is pregnant with her third child. YEA! I love babies. I'm secretly jealous of every pregnant person I know. I have delusions that a fourth would make life fun (no worries, the tubes are tied so it's not like I have an actual say in this...I think that is part of the "charm" of saying I wouldn't mind 4...I can't make it happen).

Anyhoo - Hannah is a nice enough person. Will listen (well to a point), will DEFINITELY sympathize with me, and comes up with some good one liners.

But Hannah will not shut.up. Her life is so miserable...so she says. Everything goes wrong...unless she is in charge then it might be the best ever.

She's one of those. One of those people who's kids get THE WORST COLD EVER. She gets the worst morning sickness known to man kind. She's competitive with the negative...and I hate that.

She's mildly competitive with the positive (first steps, first words) but not as much as she is with the negative.

She's not the only one I know like this, but I'm using her as my target practice today. Thankfully Hannah doesn't know that I have a blog...

Here's the story: I do not feel sorry for anyone. I do but I don't. does that make sense? I mean yes, if your parent dies, ok I feel sorry for you. Yes, I can find some sympathy for the raging bitch inside of you - I have her too. Yes, I know it sucks when the kids get sick - I can feel a little bad for you...but it stops there.

I do not need daily updates, or hourly, on how much your life sucks. Unless you got married when you were in some sort of coma, or they blindfolded you and put ear plugs in your ears and pushed you to the alter - you knew who you were marrying. (Yes, husbands can be a lot of work - but I would venture to say that most of them don't change drastically - I can talk about divorce on another day).

Unless you had some sort of immaculate conception or you woke up to your husband finishing his business which got you pregnant - you knew what you were doing.

I'll be honest...My timing between kid 2 & 3 wasn't my "choice". I would have liked them spaced out a little...but...I am fully aware of how I got pregnant and why. I can't complain about it - in fact I fixed it so it wouldn't happen to me again.

My kids are absolutely butt nuts today (today thing 2 is crying at nap time because he wants to sleep in thing 1's bed. I said go ahead. He then cried cause he wanted to sleep in his bed. I said go ahead. I have stopped going in there now). I have to say that somedays I want to hide from them. But I don't think I've ever done it. And I think I have the decency in my life to realize that I'm not the only one who feels like this, and no my kids are not the worst in the world (there are kids that like to set things on fire...thankfully those kids are not mine...yet).

And since we're talking about this, why would you want to out do someone with the negative things in your life? Why would you choose this to compete with? is it because it's all you feel you have to win with? That's ridiculous. Maybe even commitable.

I like to say we all have our own cross to bear. It's so ridiculous to think that your life is so much worse than everyone else's. I mean come on. The person I'm talking about has a home, has 2 really cute kids, has a husband who helps sometimes at least, has family nearby in case of emergencies...sorry. The boat has sailed for me. I have lost the ability to feel bad for a person that in some respects has it all.

The last stop for the complain train is here...

Monday, May 23, 2011

Suck it Betty Crocker

I love to cook. I love to bake. I love spending time in my kitchen in general. I have a good time. I like trying new things.

I am NOT a huge recipe follower. I'm more of a dumper when cooking (baking I follow cause you have to). So when I choose to follow a recipe to try something new, I expect it to be good.

I made 2 chicken dishes in the last couple of weeks. Followed the recipe to a t. Dotted every I. Dashed every dash of spice. Everything.

They both sucked.

To be fair, both were out of the 1971 edition of Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, not Betty. I'll get to her and her damn ways.

So in conclusion, I'm done making new chicken recipes. Both were long cooking events, both of them sucked. Bad.

For Christmas I got the original 1950 Betty Crocker cookbook. umm...what the hell was Betty doing?

I guess 1950 is when housewives were like "ooohhh look we can get that in a can now"...and now we're in a place where a lot of us (or ok me) are trying to get back to scratch. Trying to get at least some of the processing out of our food.

Betty does have some good recipes (she really does), but...she also has recipes for canned fruit pies. Really? dear lord.

Betty also has tips for how to organize your kitchen shelves and where you should place items! On top of that it tells you how to get your kids to help set the table and do your cooking for you (that I might use).

I guess it's hard to look back at that time and criticize...but I am. Those crazy housewives. No wonder people went ape shit when Julia Child came out. I think that is next on my list of things to get.

I just want some cook books that get back to reality. I will use processed foods (get serious...I'm not that much of a super hero) but I want to know how to do it from scratch. I think it's important apparently.

Friday, May 20, 2011


So, most of my "readers" on here know me (I'm not disillusion enough to think I have scores of people who read me just because they found me one day) but there are a few of you out there that don't. So I thought today we'd break a few facts down about me (so maybe you're more understanding about where I'm coming from).

1. I am the middle child. I actually like that about myself. It gives me an excuse for my craziness...I just blame it on middle child syndrome. I am also the only adopted kid in my family - which is weird but not really. I have an older brother and a younger sister.

2. I have been married since 2004, but with my husband since 2001.

3. I am a Michigander, but I was born in Iowa, lived briefly in North Carolina and now have been in New Jersey for 11 years now.

4. I complain about motherhood but it's the only thing I ever knew that I wanted for sure. I have never had true career desires (I can't get a degree cause I can't figure out what to do when I grow up). I knew I wanted to be a mom. I knew I wanted 3 kids. These are things that I wanted, so when I complain about them it's more tongue in cheek than anything else.

5. I actually like my job. People often look down at servers, but I like my job. It's fun and stressful, but the stress stays at work. I don't have to think about a deadline for tomorrow, just about what the specials might be. I love the pace of a restaurant. It's completely different from any place I've ever worked which include a marketing firm, a label company (like battery labels), a construction firm, and a job with the government.

6. I am a dreamer. I will never stop. I drive my husband insane. He isn't as much of a dreamer as I am. I will always want more than I have - this does not mean that I am not happy with what I have - but there is always another goal out there. I love my house, but I'd love one with a pool. That kind of thing.

7. I feel unsupported sometimes by my husband. Honestly? he's a great guy. I'm unfair to him. I complain to him about being overwhelmed by certain things and he tries to support me...and then I get pissed off at him and his support. he's in a losing battle with me. I'm working on it.

8. I have ants in my pants. I want to move away from NJ like you wouldn't believe. I don't necessarily hate it - just like moving to new places and doing new things.

9. I really do like to drink, that is not a joke. I'm not afraid to have a cocktail at the end of my day...or 3.

10. I am a horrible housekeeper. It's not a lie. In fact I am supposed to be cleaning right now. I have clothes everywhere from trying to switch out the seasons in my kids wardrobe. I have dust piles. It's not good. I'd say I'm working on it - but that's a lie, I'm sitting right here.

So there. There are some not so bitchy facts about me that may introduce you more into my world. And why I'm bitching usually.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Need Help

ok so I'm trying to make a facebook page to go with this blog...here's the problem...it won't accept "the best of the bitch" as a name (duh I don't know why).

So since Facebook is going all PC on me...what should I put? help me!

Too much

As you know I have entered the wide world of baseball. It starts at T-ball. It's adorable. They run around in circles, play with the dirt, and occasionally they look like they know what they are doing. Oldest son is having the best of times. I'm so glad.

but...I almost didn't sign him up. I considered not doing any of this.

I am debating about soccer. I think he would have a great time...but I'm not sure if I can do it.

Sports have gone wild and crazy. When I was a kid I played softball (in prehistoric days before t-ball we went straight into the minor leagues.). It was fun. It was ok. I was never on a rocking team or anything like that but we had fun anyways.

There were some parents that were way to into it. But they were the coaches usually so who cared. People cheered their kids, but I never ever heard of someone criticizing a player. I would hear constructive things like "Hey stop picking the grass, the games the other way" (what can I say when I was 8 years old playing with 12 year olds, I got bored you know?). I would hear things like "good eye" or "keep an eye on the ball" or "good swing" (aka strike!).

I never heard "that girl is so dumb. she should not play". "Who let this kid on the field". Or "We have to win. We want to win the World Series. We won last year".

Nope none of that. But I have heard it now. World series - I laugh at this...because they aren't actually talking about the world series of Little League (which by the way the girls play in my hometown of Kalamazoo). They are talking about a local Little League thing. Kind of like All-Stars from back in my day except it's just the same team, not the best kids from the league.

What I am trying to say is that kids having fun I'm so cool with that. But, I am not cool with the parents. They are obnoxious little things. They yell, they scream, they will even trash talk.


I'm not perfect. I will yell at Son #1 because he's being doofy. I have a policy of you don't have to be the best, but you have to DO your best. So him not picking up his feet to run to first base (cause he's being silly) really grinds my last nerve.

But I'm not going to practice with him at 7 am on a Sunday (I have seen it done.)

I want to encourage, but not force. It's a fine line.

Here's the other part. Last night until after 9:30 there were kids (albeit older kids) playing baseball. We have actual lights on our field. I mean like high school football field lights. They play EVERY night that late. It's a friggen school night?

In the summer? When kids are not in school? ok. I can maybe see that. But on a school night? am I the only one who thinks that is crazy?


When we signed up and got our schedule and all that there was a big bolded notice:

Little League will NOT be taking a break during Spring Break. There will be practices scheduled and Games!

umm ok. That made me laugh. The back ground is that we are a summer tourist destination. Many of us (myself included) can't just take a week off after little league is done in the middle of July. We'd lose way to much money, or we have a business to run or whatever.

We also live in a school district that counts your days (whole different rant and blog). I got a letter after our January trip that I had used up all my vacation days (5) and any further days "off" would result in me being taken to court. "Thanks for your cooperation". Nice huh? Especially considering that my kid is in an optional (not state-mandated) Pre-K program. So taking a vacation during school? Sometimes you can't.

Lord help me. I'm not sure I can do this until he's 12.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Secret Bitching

I apparently am not a nice person. (seriously I wonder about myself).

I secretly chuckle or giggle at a lot of people. I really do.

I also secretly question MANY people. I don't always say it out loud...but I have a lot of questions.

I don't consider myself a better mom because I have 3 kids close in age...but I do consider myself to have gained some sort of wisdom in that time. When I give advice or have things to say I do NOT expect people to fall down and bow to me and listen to every word I say. However, if you asked me for the advice (or asked in general) you could at least consider my thoughts before shooting them down or poopooing them.

While I don't consider myself a super mom (I am far from it...I have doubts every.single.day. about my mothering) I have had 3 vastly different boys that I have kept alive anywhere from 18 months to 5.5 years.

I do *secret bitching* chuckle at some of the people who are so far up their kids asses that they can't remove themselves.

*before we truly begin the secret bitching, as far as I know the people that I am referring to never have even seen my blog and aren't reading...i.e. mostly this is about family*

I have seen a baby spit up (and I use that term loosely - son #1 kept me COVERED in throw up for at least 6 months and this was not that) and seen the parents FREAK out and then wonder if he is hungry now that he spit up. They also changed his clothes. Yes, I did feel superior in that moment. I have to admit. They also made comments about the spit up still being in his mouth. They tried to wipe off his tongue (I am serious.).

I have seen a baby squawk (and yes it was loud) and the mom snatch him up so fast I'm surprised the kid didn't get whip lash. I did consider myself superior in that moment.

I have heard people talk about how busy they are (you know in the way that makes you believe that they are looking for sympathy) and how hard life is...and they have 1 child. Who is a teenager. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking forward to the social life of a teen, but this is a teen who does not have 1 single activity after before or during school. There are no concerts to attend, no lessons to go to, no practice every night, no home or away games. There is bring to school, bring home from school. I would have MORE sympathy if said person worked a lot - had a very stressful job and all that. Nope. 3 part time days a week. That is it. I felt VERY superior when I listened to this whining. I juggle a lot more.

I am no mad genius with the money in my life. I feel like I'm always really "rich" or really "broke". And they happen too close together to make any sense. However, I felt extremely superior when someone was whining about having to move cause their land lord wanted their house. I felt superior because they are trying to stay in an area that they may not be able to afford and I think that is stupid. I felt superior because I worked my ass off, got as many deals as possible, went at an "off" time to save up to go to DisneyWorld while these people took their 4 kids to Aruba for a week in February (when everyone else is there). Have a good vacation, but then finding out that they are renting and "saving" for a house? That didn't make good sense to me. I got more in this category and it is almost all the same people, but you get my point. Housing may just come before Aruba.

Now what would be funny is if you are reading this secretly feeling superior to me and my bitchy self (I deserve it so go ahead).

Monday, May 16, 2011

No More Martini's

I usually know my limits. I really do. But on Saturday night...I forgot. Happens to the best of us doesn't it?

I had a great time though and isn't that what is important?

I had a new babysitter watch the boys.

Why is it so hard to get good help? (and I do realize that I sound ridiculous but I'm serious).

This babysitter is in college so she's an awesome age (like I assume that she can handle the responsibility of 3 wild and crazy boys and I should have no worries. She can drive a car and drove herself to my house and home (WOOHOO). She isn't old enough to drink so she's not going out after I get home (I have had a "curfew" for another babysitter that wanted to go out after I did so I had to be home at a certain time cause the bar was calling).

Now, I do have to say that I came home and everyone was alive and well. So mission accomplished at that.

I also came home to the pizza still being on the table 6+ hours after she got there. I don't expect her to clean the house spotless, but seriously? I left the pizza out for you (told her that) and she couldn't throw it in the fridge? LAME

There was a water spill on the carpet. Now, to be fair my carpet is not nice at this point at ALL. I refuse to spend the money on something nicer until my kids are done chucking food on the floor as a sign of "I'm done". BUT...seriously? You couldn't pick the cup up and throw a paper towel down?


So now I have the choices in babysitters. A college age girl who doesn't seem to get it. Or a high school age girl who's mom refuses to let us drive her home and comes to get her...this should be a bonus, but I feel like I have to be home on time so her mom doesn't get upset.

Now High School girl? She cleans my house!

Good help is hard to find!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Partying Bitch

I have randomly had some sort of social life this week!

We have t-ball 2 nights a week (that counts right?).

We had a funeral (not a joking matter - but we got to see hubs cousins who I love).

Had a girlfriend over today for coffee and bitching!

Get.to.go.out.to.dinner.tomorrow.night. NO KIDS. Many drinks will be involved.

This is what my life has come to. I am so excited I could cry. I'm going out tomorrow. We have a new babysitter who can drive and doesn't have a curfew. Life is good.

I have been looking at the menu for weeks. I have told people at my restaurant that we are coming for drinks after we eat dinner (at a different restaurant). I'm excited.

We are going with 2 couples. Both men work with hubs. 1 couple is a dear dear set of friends of ours. LOVE. Other couple is a guy and a girl who are dating.

Here's the best part. Guy tells hubs and friend that they aren't going to last. He's breaking up with her for many reasons but one reason being that she will text pictures of her dog saying that the dog misses him.

WHY WHY WHY did he tell us all of this BEFORE we went to dinner with them? I am not shy, drinks will be involved...I will probably help them break up right there.

*sigh* I'll update you on this one cause I'm dying to see how it turns out!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

It's a sad state of affairs

My house is ridiculous right now.

We went on a shopping spree. At Ikea. Which is an AWESOME idea, except that now I have boxes EVERYWHERE full of furniture just waiting for me to put together.

Thing 2 now has a big boy bed (and yes, said big boy bed was the cause of a bloody nose the first night he had it cause thing 2 things he's superman and jumped out of his bed and landed on something). He also has a trundle bed under the big boy bed. All completely put together.

We have a new bed *sigh* not even started. And a dresser not even started.

I'm scared.

On top of that, is it spring? Is it winter? Who knows? The clothes are EVERYWHERE. I mean it too. There is a pile of new kid clothes on my floor (in my upstairs room when they live downstairs) right now. There are some in a hall way. There are some in the garage. There are some in their room. There are some in the laundry room. Lord help me.

I am not a spotless clean person by any means (I am serious. My house is never spotless...maybe 1 room will be but that is the.end.). But even I am starting to get claustrophobic at all the crap that is scattered throughout my house. The clothes having no home. The amount of work that it is going to take to get all of it together.

I want a maid who does this shit for me.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


A to the Men. Spring has sprung.

My flowers are planted (YEA! early for me but YEA done).

We grilled steak last night - first grill of the season. YEA.

It is sunny and beautiful (it has been for DAYS).

Our deck at work is open (I do not work it, but I enjoy drinking at it).

I am close to being able to put the winter clothes away and officially move the summer clothes in (I right now have clothes literally everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I have summer clothes scattered that I've bought, but it's been too cold to get rid of winter. And I do not have enough room for the boys to have both sets just hanging around.)

The almost 3 year old has discovered the fascinating world of blowing bubbles in the back yard and can be amused out there for an hour. YEA.

It's Spring. And it feels good.

This is weather that I can get on board with. It's not humid. It's a nice 70 degrees MAYBE. I'm not sweating. I'm not. Which is good.

I am dreading actual summer and looking forward to it at the same time. (yes I have issues, more than you will ever know).

I like the easy breezy days of summer. But, I end up craving the schedule of school by like mid July.

I like being busy at work and making money. I do not like waiting in traffic, or having walmart be too busy to shop.

I like the fact that I live so close to the beach (bragging rights), but I hate the beach (sand thing).

I like having the windows open, but every time I do (when it's hot) the wind dies and it burns up in here!

All the restaurants are opening back up around here (many are seasonal) so YEA! but it gets so busy you can't get in them.

There are just so many pro's and con's of summer for me. But I always like the change of seasons.

Hope Spring has sprung in your backyard.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Happy Mother's Day (a day late)

Spring is finally here in NJ. It's a beautiful day outside, and it has been beautiful for more than one day at a time! FINALLY!

Yesterday was Mother's Day. Did you call your mom?

I called my mom yesterday. I got to sleep in until 8:50 (unheard of). I did not get anything served to me in bed, but that is part of the sleeping in. My husband knew if he had brought me something it might have made me cranky...so he left me in blissful peace.

I got a camera from my husband! YEA! I picked it out and ordered it, but he is picking up the tab. LOVE.

I got a card from my boys. The big one signed and drew on it. Love.

On Friday I got to go to the big one's school for a Mother's Day Tea. It was so sweet and he get SO excited everytime I go to his school for something. I'm going to miss these days for sure.

here comes the bitch (you didn't think this would all be roses did you?)

I had to work yesterday. ok not a huge deal I work every Sunday. but instead of having to go in at my usual 4 pm, nope I had to be in at 1 pm. ok not horrible, did it on Easter and I made pretty decent money so ok.

Yesterday was a horrible day for us waitresses. I never even thought about it. Kids pay on Mother's Day. My restaurant is not cheap. Kids run out of money to tip. I got 2 (yes 2) 10% tips. I NEVER get tips like that. I don't think I'm the best server in town, but I'm not bad either. I almost always average 18-20% at the end of the night. Last night? 15%.

On top of the shitty tippers, it wasn't terribly busy! I don't know if Easter was too close to Mother's Day this year (we were busy on Easter...so maybe people didn't want to come back to us?) Or because it was such a nice day (which we have been waiting for) that people decided to go the BBQ route? Not sure at all but it was not good.

I had sucked it up, went into work with my cheery face on, and by 6 pm that cheery face was GONE. *And so you know - I am actually known for being happy at work. I like my job usually. I like most of the people I work with. Grumpy waitresses do not make good money. People can feel your grump. So most nights I am pretty happy there, ready to make money and have fun.*

Meh. I'll get over it, but I don't understand on Mother's Day how people short changed a working mom, who did not get to spend Mother's Day at home being pampered. I completely don't understand people. Mother's Day is a day for extra tipping when you find out your server is a mom! DUH

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Update on 2011 Bucket list

ok so only 1 thing crossed off so far;) but I am running short on time today - so a reminder of my goals and my one thing crossed off;)

1. Lose 40 more pounds.

2. Buy "real size" dress for my birthday!

3. Do the 30 day shred Level 3

4. Have a clean garage

5. Get middle son potty trained

6. Pay off the mini-van

7. Do the water park at the boardwalk

8. Get family portrait done

9. Use my day spa gift cert that I've had for 1.5 years now

10. Be nice for one whole entire day

11. Take each kid out separately with hubs

12. Take everyone to the Aquarium

13. Look into possible office work from home

14. Do the beach

15. Eat at Jen Carroll's restaurant from Top Chef

16. Go gambling.

17. Buy real shoes, not for work, not flip flops but actual shoes

18. Clean out one of our attics

19. Make it through the holidays and family functions without yelling at anyone

20. Plan a vacation for 2012

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I'm a T-Ball Mom

This is my son the T-ball player

He's all bat and no run. God love him we forgot to tell him after he hits that he needs to run. He had so much fun though.

Here's the bitchy part.

The other team was more than ridiculous. They called him out after this hit (which is his first time to bat ever in his little 5 years). They got the ball to first and called him out.

There are NO OUTS in t-ball. Every kid lines up to hit. They hit they run to the base. Every single kid gets to bat. So why would there be outs?

The other teams coaches called him and I think 3 other kids out. Are you kidding me?

I am not cut out for this. I almost ran on the field. I almost did.

This is the first game and apparently the other team has practiced...a lot.

I asked another mom (who's husband is coaching another team) about it. She said there are no outs. Then proceeded to tell me that on opening day the coach in question was a giant A-hole. He told his team that they are soldiers and they were marching on the field in an orderly manner. The rest of the t-ball teams were just happy that our kids made it on the field so we could take their pictures.

If this guy is like this the next time we play? I am not going to reserve it. I'm not going to be nice. Why would you act like that?

So, moral of the story is that my son had a blast. He hit the ball, stood in the wrong place, watched balls go by him, jumped around like a goof ball, faced the wrong way and I got some great video and pictures. So happy he had fun.

But that other coach better watch it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Ridiculous posting

I am a rabid fan of sites like Lamebook, Passive Aggressive Notes, Baby Center Fails , and STFU Parents. I love reading about how crazy people can post on facebook, how dumb they are in notes, what they will say about their parenting skills or lack there of...and I'm also secretly afraid that I will find myself on there one day. So I check them religiously to make sure that I am not listed! Even the Mommy's from Rants from Mommyland have gotten in on the act. And I'm with them.

I love Facebook in general. Let's get serious. I have a lot of fun on there. I live far away from most of my friends and family, so I get to catch up on there on what's going on in their lives. Part 2 is that during the day it's usually my only real connection with adults - that and reading/writing/commenting on blogs. Yes I lead a very thrilling and exciting life.

Here's what I don't love. Ridiculous posts. And for the most part, none of the ones that I have seen will show up on one of the crazy blogs...but the posts are enough to send me personally over the edge.

My facebook friends that are reading this are going to think that this is all about the Osama posts that I am protesting today. That is the final nail in the coffin for me, but it is not all of what I'm talking about.

I am more protesting the passive aggressive posts with this blog. A family member posted today "OMG SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO CLUE" on her facebook with all caps. This family member is mid to upper 40's and is yelling at people on facebook. More to the point, I think she is yelling at me:)

I had the nerve today to make a joke *gasp* that it took a Democrat to get the job done. and then I put in the same post that is was a JOKE:) Apparently she doesn't like my humor. That's ok. Not everyone gets me and my sick jokes. But wow. The drama of me having an opinion (even if it was a joking opinion) that differs from someone. The horror.

Or, I have had numerous posts that I have read that say similar thing, "oh people are so annoying" leaving all of your facebook friends to wonder if you are talking about them. Or "people piss me off on facebook". And I have been guilty of doing it myself...but I know I'm being passive aggressive and do it on purpose (I'm not an angel - I am a bitch remember?).

Sometimes I feel like being on Facebook downgrades us to acting like junior high kids.

I'm on a Facebook group that is super secret and private:) It's a mommy group. I actually have someone in the super secret private group that has blocked me from reading her posts IN the super secret private group. I have to say if you hate me that much, why are you still there? (I'm somewhat "loud" in the group so it's not like you're escaping me...I also have friends in the group that will tell me what I missed).

*sigh* I may miss the good old days before facebook, I'm not sure yet though.