Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Dress that will never happen

So some of you know I want a maxi dress for my birthday from a "real" (aka not fat girl) store. This is not going to happen.

um apparently - I look horrible in this type of dress. I mean very bad. Bad. Bad Bad bad Bad!

I went to JC Penney's. We have a super small one locally. I tried on a "regular" extra large. I was nervous but...wanted to try it.

The top looked SO awesome (except my arms - yuck but that is something I'm willing to live with and just cover up). But the top half fit so nice. My waist even looked decent. And more importantly - even though I know those dresses run bigger and are loose - it fit.

Then you got to my ass. Oh heaven help me. It was bad. Not flattering. not sexy. and not even going to Walmart wearable.

I have always known that too much flow in an outfit can be a problem for a person bigger than a size 8, I just forgot and had hope.

But, in one way I'm taking a victory lap. The top fit so perfect. And it wasn't an extendo size. It wasn't from a "specialty" store. It was a regular size. The bottom while it didn't look good (AT ALL) on me actually fit. It just wasn't flattering. So in that way - I'm taking the victory and glory of the moment of being able to put it on and look nice.

So, the new mission is to find a cute skirt and shirt. HA:)

And be proud of myself for not buying it just because i could get it on;)

Monday, June 20, 2011

There are sparklies in my hair

I have to tell you...There are sparkly things in my hair. They are not pretty. They are not clips. They are gray hairs sprouting up more and more.

I have colored my hair since the ripe old age of 15 (my mom wasn't cool like that...but my hair turned so orangey in the sun that summer that it was not good looking. All she let me do was dye it back to brown where it belonged.) So anyways, when I started getting grays I didn't notice right away cause I always have color in.

I had some blond high lights for a while and if that wasn't so much maintenance I would do it again.

I did my hair for work the other day - using more of a "part" than I usually do and oh lord. The silver things staring back at me were frightening. I mean heaven help me. I'm turning 35 in 4 weeks...I don't know if I feel old enough for this crap.

I have to be totally honest, if I had those beautiful silver strands coming through? I might consider letting it come in. I have seen even younger ish women with silver and it looks so pretty. Do I have the beautiful silver? oh no, no I don't. I have very ugly very hard to color and disguise true gray hairs.

I'm not a fan.

How come when a man gets those grays he becomes a silver fox with some salt and pepper going on, but when a woman gets them it's all ugly! Why? Why? Why?

I'm not even kidding. It's not attractive. It makes me feel old. I'm not a fan.

And the bigger problem is that I can't seem to find the time to do it. Seriously!

Getting old sucks...big.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Sorry for being a bitch

I haven't blogged in forever right? I haven't even read any blogs in forever.

This week is so crazy. Last days at school apparently include picnics, half days, crazy hours...and I get to do this at one "real" pre-school and one early education center.

I'm working 4-5 nights a week (5 this week - ugh).

Add on top of that a sick husband and you get even bitchier version of myself.


So I'll be back to my normal (aka regular bitchy) self next week I hope.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Guilty Bitch

I hate mom guilt. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Did I mention that I hate mom guilt?

It creeps into my head every.single.night. I can't shut that little voice up.

Like right now. Thing 3 is the only kid home right now. The other 2 are at school. We should be outside playing or something. Instead? I'm sitting at the table with my lap top and he is eating pretzels in his high chair watching Mickey. I hear the voice telling me that's not nice.

At night I think to myself "did I do enough tonight?" "Did they get enough good things to eat?" "Do I let them watch too much tv?"

I think the mom guilt is one of the reasons that I can't stand uppity mothers who appear to have it together. They increase my mom guilt.

I don't read to my kids every day. When I had one? We read together ALL the time. He loved it. Then I had 2 kids. Kid number 2 doesn't like to sit and listen to the story all the time. So we read less frequently. Then I had 3 kids and someone was always trying to rip the pages. Then I got a job that requires me to leave my house at 3:30...I lost my rhythm...I feel guilty.

Thing 3 decided in the past week that he doesn't like grapes or carrots anymore. He has been eating them since he was eating solids. He loved them so much. I was good with it because it's an easy fruit and veg and no arguments over food. Now I have to think it out and find him other things (he doesn't have molars yet so there are a lot of no's about what he can eat.). Now I have guilt and try to count up his servings of fruit and vegetables every day.

I have guilt about my short temper. I don't think it's THAT short every day...but lord help me. If I tell you to put on your shoes because we're going to school (which you love) and I tell you again to put them the third time of you "forgetting" to put on your shoes...I'm a little pissed. guilt at the end of the day for that one.

It doesn't end with the mommy issues.

Sunday was a bad night (in terms of money) at work. So what did I do? Had 2 drinks after work at work. umm...that's not helping the wallet. So I have money guilt now. On top of the mom guilt.

I get wife guilt as if my guilt plate wasn't full enough. Did I put out enough this week? Did I make him feel important? Was I just snappy for no reason? He's trying to help and I'm bitching *surprise*.

So now we're up to mom guilt, money guilt, and wife guilt.

I try not to regret any decisions I've made in my life. My life isn't perfect, but at the same time all the bad choices that I've made have led me to where I am...which is where I want to be. So while not regretting and not looking back...I do still have guilt.

I threw a party when I was 17. It was the party of 93 - or so I've been told....until the cops came and busted my awesome cool party. My parents were say the least. You really can't mention it to my dad to this day (and hey - I'm 34 3/4 years old...). I have guilt over it still!

Help. Mom guilt, money guilt, wife guilt, daughter guilt.

Some days I drown in the guilt.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Green Enough

I don't know about you, but I constantly worry if I'm green enough.

I buy fruit from farm stands/markets in the summer. But, I have never asked if they are truly grown around here (one stand I don't want to know the answer because they already have peaches and cherries - none of which are ready here in NJ). I tell myself I'm being better because I do this.

I have discovered the "joys" of baking soda and vinegar as cleaning agents. Not sure if this makes me green, but it is cheap. and I think green.

I turn my air up upstairs (we have 2 zones) during the day and the downstairs up at night. Once again - I think I'm being green...but I'm really being cheap. Air conditioning kills us each and every summer. So I'm hoping this will help.

I have absolutely no trees in my yard. So I know I'm not giving back the oxygen...but I plant a bunch of flowers every year does that help?

I am an energy/heat nazi in general. Green? yes. Cheap? you bet.

I want to plant a veggie/fruit garden next summer. This summer I still have a 19 month old that would destroy all plants he touched. Hoping that next summer he'll be good and I can plant.

I buy organic when possible/affordable. I think this makes me greener right?

I drive a mini-van. There is no getting around the fact that this is not green. I actually want a full size conversion van and if I can ever afford it - I'm getting it. My husband says that will be great on gas and my answer? Nope but it will be comfortable. BAD.

What I hate about the "green" movement is that you can never do enough. You think you're doing things ok and then you realize that your goal in life is a gas guzzling vehicle. You think you're doing something right, only to find out that it's really not.

Are we ever going to be green enough? Will our actions please anyone?

Being half green (like me I think) leads to more judgment and confusion. If you are fully green and on board more things than I could ever think of you at least have the approval of the other greenies. If you do nothing and just say to hell with all that - at least you have some companionship. Me? I'm so in the middle that both sides scorn me. One side says I don't do nearly enough and one will make fun of me for trying.

Meh. Feeling very philosophical for a Monday morning.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Weekly Round up

It has been a wild and crazy week. So here it is.

1. I started back to work 4 nights a week...which is a lie since I got one of my shifts covered for hubs birthday. But still crazy.

2. My friend came and visited from Ohio and now is driving home. I already miss her. We had SUCH a good time and I wish we could make it a more regular thing. She's awesome.

3. My kids are totally weirdo's. Today's example? The baby has decided he doesn't like grapes. Are you kidding me? Grapes? You've been eating grapes for over a year and now they aren't good enough for you? weirdo.

4. Last night oldest son had t-ball. I brought middle son with me and youngest son was at home with hubs. Middle son was tired. I should never have brought him. He said "I play t-ball". Nope you aren't old enough. "NO I PLAY T-BALL". it went down hill from there. He threw his hat, he cried. I actually brought him to the car and made him sit in it (first time ever. It's been a threat but I've never done it.) eesh

5. I apparently talk funny. I say things like "Do you want to go go ni-night?" I use the work go twice. In a lot of sentences. It's a habit. I also say "for forever". Apparently that is weird. I didn't know that but my hubs and others have pointed it out to me. Thanks for that.

6. It's a beautiful day today, but I'm SO EXHAUSTED (I don't claim this much so I really am tired) that I plan on doing nothing.

7. I missed real housewives of NYC last night *gasp*. I'm hoping that it's already on demand so I can catch up. It's part of my do nothing plan.

8. I do not own a DVR or anything like it. I don't know how to work my VCR so nothing can get recorded. Real Housewives of New Jersey is not on demand...makes me mad.

9. The Elks Convention is in town this week-end. Sounds harmless right? umm...The only thing that might get more drunk than an Elks convention is a Lion's convention. It's ridiculous how these people get. I'm not even joking. Then tomorrow they will have a 6 hour Elk parade. It's hysterical and sad all at the same time (most of them are hungover so it's even more funny).

10. I think tomorrow I have to take oldest son to a birthday party. No big deal right? Except it's a Pirate Cruise. If this thing goes out into the ocean instead of just the bay? I'm going to get sick. Not looking forward to this at all.

Have a good week-end everyone;)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Waiting to exhale

So today is actually a fabulous day. I just had lunch for the first time ever with a friend from Ohio. Best line ever? My oldest son says "mom but you don't like people from Ohio"...I had to tell him that was only football players from Ohio State.

But, as per my usual - I have a bitch.

How long do you wait for an apology from someone. This person may or may not know that I am waiting. I do not want to be all "You owe me an apology". I almost never say that. Even if it's to my husband...I'll just sit there and wait for him to have the gears grind and for him to understand that I need an apology now.

Said person threw a 5 year old tantrum at me. Saying that my advice (which there was an advice question asked) was not wanted because she didn't specifically ask for that kind of advice. Seriously? I have been through the situation many times, I was telling you how I handled it and to help you prepare...I wasn't saying "You better do it my way bitch". I'm almost never like that (I do have my moments).

So...after telling me that the advice was ridiculous and meddlesome what happens? Exactly what I said would. I want to scream "I TOLD YOU SO" but so far I've been above it (by above I mean bitching constantly that I was right to everyone else.)

Thing that kills me is that I really thought this person and I were getting close enough that I could throw my $.02's in the hat. I really did. People who I'm not close with? I would have never bothered.

Why are relationships so complicated?

If you know me at all by now, you know that I am opinionated. This stretches from politics (I'm pretty much socialist), working (I don't care if you work or not but there is no poor talk if you won't get a job), Gay Rights (why do you care if gay people get married? That's friggen ridiculous), Union Rights (this scares the bejeezus out of me), Traveling (I have successfully traveled with 3 kids to at least 10 different states...I have something to say about that for sure), child care (honestly I'll tell you what's worked for my kids - 3 different methods usually - but if it works for you? good for you. I will give an opinion but I do try hard not to judge...sometimes), and relationships. So...if you don't want an opinion that veer's into left field, then back into right - don't ask me ever. EVER.

In all seriousness...Do you wait for the apology? I did say that I was pretty offended by the comments I got. I was upfront about it - and tried very hard (although how successfully I don't know) to NOT be bitchy about it. Do you wait? Or do you just forget about it but hang back on the friendship?

I don't know how to do this without being a child. I'm trying so hard, but my feelings were stepped on (I'm bitchy but jeez I do have feelings).

enough whining for the day.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Happy Birthday Hubs

Today is my hubs birthday. He's 42 now. And I like that about him...since I'm going to be 35 in July it's nice to know that he's always going to be older (yes I really feel like that - I'm sick).

So, for the past week I have been catering to his every wish and desire (and I actually mean that). We celebrate our birthdays for a week. We act like 5 year olds. I'm ok with this too, I think it keeps us young. If you can't look forward to your birthday and Christmas - what good is it? You know?

So there have been home made food treats, there have been small presents. There has been a surprise nearly every day. I'm actually proud that I did it every day. There was even a trip to the dairy queen for a blizzard (I got in on that treat).

The big present is a present we are splitting for both of our birthdays. We are getting an ipad. Exciting times. We might actually be catching up to the rest of the world in technology.

All of this is good. All of this makes for a great week and a great birthday for him. It makes me happy (honestly - no bull shitting here today) that he's happy. I want him to feel special. After having 3 kids pretty close together - I need him to know that he's important you know? I'm starting my summer schedule this week, and we don't see a ton of each other so I need him to have a good birthday.

here's the bitch.

He invited his mother over. AUGH. I was supposed to work tonight, but got a friend to pick up the shift for me so I could celebrate his birthday. He invited his mother before he knew I was doing that. So now I get to spend a friggen evening with my in-laws.


Yes, I sound dramatic. But his mother drives me up one wall and down another. And in case she is not enough to make my evening super pleasant...she lives with hubs sister and so hubs sister and probably her teenage son are coming too. I'm crossing my fingers that her husband doesn't come. And I'm not joking.

Hubs brother? love him. He's adorable and sweet. His wife? I can take. We're not going to be best of friends, but she is amazing to my kids and can come over and we'll have a good time you know?

The rest of them? Can suck it.

Here's an example of how I get talked to - and yes this will sound petty, but add it up for 10 years and maybe you'll get me.

We had hubs brother and wife over for dinner and we told hubs mom. I made the comment that hubs brother likes my cooking (which he does cause he has good taste). Hubs mother said "Oh he'll eat anything". Yeah bitch? Did I hear that right?

Nothing I have ever done or said is up to her standards (which is hysterical if you met the rest of the family). I just wish she'd cut me some slack.

2 years ago for Christmas she for some reason gave me and hubs cash for our gift (not complaining but she is really into Christmas like we cash was like what? I would never do that...oh well). Well, guess what. Hubs literally got twice as much as me.


My parents bend over backwards to make sure they spend the same (like my mom will get twitchy about $5 over on someone) on every person - including in-laws. My MIL thinks it's ok to very blatantly give me less. I knew she spent less, but wow. When you're giving really should spend the same.

This year? She gave me a christmas candle from K-mart (tag on it said $9.99 but I'm guessing sale). And she also gave me 3 generic ornaments that had my sons name written on. Not only were the written on with a marker but they were like this "son1" in quotation marks.

Yup, probably sound petty again. You can spend $5 on me. As long as you spent some time going I bet Heather would really like this. (meaning you would get me $5 worth of coffee, or a book, or something). How not to shop for me? At the dollar store, or picking up random crap that someone either gave you or you got on clearance and said - yeah she won't ever know. (I know I'm not as slow as I appear).

So wow bitter today;) Here's to wishing hubs and happy birthday and to me being able to keep my fat mouth shut (oh lord).

Friday, May 27, 2011

Sweet Chicken - let summer begin

As I write this, I just got home from having lunch with my husband at his office. He works in the construction industry so his office is never in the same place for very long. Currently he is approximately 4 miles away from my house (YEA).

It took me 20 minutes to get home. Normally it would take me 10.

Let summer begin.

The shoobies are coming (for those of you who don't know - shoobies are tourists. They are called shoobies because they used to come for the day and pack their lunch in a shoe box. In Michigan tourist up north are called fudgies for the amount of fudge they buy.)

Anyhoo - right wrong or indifferent, this kicks off our summer season.

Now the waitress part of me? I'm actually glad. I start my 4 day week this week again...I'd rather not be super bored there (although the reality is that given my shifts I will bored for a few more weeks after this week-end). I want it to be busy. Bring on the money!

The other non-working side of me? oh lord I'm not ready for the craziness.

I drove by my grocery store on the way to hubs office. The parking lot was full. and I mean it. Cars were circling to find a spot. Bad news about this? I have to go there today. Good news about this? I ordered my groceries online this week and only have to pick them up and pay for them.

The start of summer, while good for my economy, is always dreaded and loved. I love that all the restaurants are opening again (so many of them close here). I love that we can walk up to the boardwalk and get some ice cream. I dread trying to go to Walmart (which I need to do in the next few days). I dread trying to pick up my 2 kids who are at 2 different schools today in 2 different directions on my island. I dread the fist pumping Jersey Shore wannabe's (to be clear my part of the shore is much nicer than their's:) tee hee hee).

It all starts today and it gets super serious on 4th of July week-end. It's busy and it's fierce. My island has 4 towns technically (ok 5 technically but the 5th is just township ground that was never "claimed" and the township has no business being here...long story). The year round population is somewhere around 15,000. In the summer? My 1 island, 5 miles long and no where near a mile wide in most places is being bumped up to a population of around 250,000.

That's right 250,000. That only includes this island right here. We have islands to our north that get about the same influx and 1 town to our south that may even get more.

Garden State Parkway? Forget about it.

Trying to get to Atlantic City or Philly? Bring a book you'll be stuck in traffic for a while.

Like I said - I'm not complaining THAT much. This is how our towns survive and so does my wallet.

But, it's tricky. I do a lot of shopping about an hour away...towards Philly. It's where my closest target, kohl's and bj's are. I have to be a commando super woman to plan these trips so we don't spend 3 hours getting home.

So, part of me says bring it. Bring on the summer bbq (LOVE), bring on the lazy days, bring on the drinks on the deck at work (on an inlet of the ocean - AWESOME)...but please help me survive the traffic, the crazy tourists, and the assholes.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Working Vs Staying home

Part of me really loves this topic. Why you ask? Because. Some people (not most but some) are so friggen righteous about either choice. "I work and that makes me supermom" or "I have sacrificed and coupon 40 hours a week so I could be a good mom and stay home" (which by the way - if you're couponing 40 hours a week...why not go to work?).

Although I work still, because it's the "night" shift or because I work only 1 night a week for 6 months I am lumped in with the staying home crowd. Which is fine, but I feel the need to justify myself...I work in the summer blah blah blah.

So without judging, and without justifying myself here's a list of the give ups and receives from my little arrangement (winter work 4 pm 1 night a week usually done by 10. Summer work 4 pm 4 nights a week sometimes 5 and not done until 11-midnight).

Lunch. I gave up going out to lunch - which is something that I like. Right now I am eating tuna from a bowl with a dessert of some popcorn. In exchange? I picked up cocktails after work. I could go either way with this judgment - neither side wins.

Going to the store during working hours (*gasp* I know) or on my way home with no kids. I received going to Walmart after work in the winter (they are open until midnight) so there aren't any crowds. In the summer I will have to bust it to get there before they close but we'll see. Once again? This one might just be a draw.

Seeing my husband at work or a chance of it. We both worked in the same company and sometimes we even had an office together (although I would not work for him cause that was ugly when we tried it. Now I don't see him hardly at all in the summer. So working during the day wins that one.

Playing on the computer. I used to be able to jump on the computer at work and check email, shop, or whatever during the day (it wasn't all I did but come on - who with an office job doesn't do this?). Now? if I get caught with my phone on me or using it I should say I could potentially be fired. Seriously. Seen it happen. So working during the day wins.

Ni-Night time is my favorite time of the day. I get to spend time with hubs, get some things done that I hadn't gotten done cause I was gone all day. Ni-night time is still my favorite time of the day...but I'm done when it hits. I rarely do anything except a load of laundry at the end of my day cause I've been here all freaking day. on top of that in the summer time I miss this time of day 4 nights. So my nights off are just that. Day time work should win this one too.

Talking with adults. When I worked during the day I could talk to "adults" (And I use that term loosely) during the day. Now I can when either hubs gets home or I go to work. And, I have started having a couple of friends over once a week for "coffee" (aka bitching). I'm going to say night work with this. I have made some really awesome friends at the restaurant, and I worked in construction before. I didn't have a ton in common with the guys I worked with.

Money. Yes, on paper I made much more money working during the day. But I had to work 40 hours a week to make it. During the summer I make much more per week than I did getting a paycheck...and I'm not driving everywhere. I'm not paying someone to take care of my kids (would have been basically my whole paycheck). I enjoyed the stability of the paycheck working during the day? But I like the outcome of working at night better.

So, if you haven't caught on, I do not see one side being better. I do not see one side being a better mom or a worse mom. I see it as same but different. I don't see one or the other being a sacrifice. I see ALL mom's sacrificing...that's what we do right?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Enough Already

omg. I know I bitch a lot. But I created this little blog as an outlet of my bitching (and hoping to find the humor behind my bitching). I do not call people and demand that they actually listen to my bitching, I put it up here for the world to see...and if they don't like? They don't have to come back.

My friend Hannah is pregnant with her third child. YEA! I love babies. I'm secretly jealous of every pregnant person I know. I have delusions that a fourth would make life fun (no worries, the tubes are tied so it's not like I have an actual say in this...I think that is part of the "charm" of saying I wouldn't mind 4...I can't make it happen).

Anyhoo - Hannah is a nice enough person. Will listen (well to a point), will DEFINITELY sympathize with me, and comes up with some good one liners.

But Hannah will not shut.up. Her life is so she says. Everything goes wrong...unless she is in charge then it might be the best ever.

She's one of those. One of those people who's kids get THE WORST COLD EVER. She gets the worst morning sickness known to man kind. She's competitive with the negative...and I hate that.

She's mildly competitive with the positive (first steps, first words) but not as much as she is with the negative.

She's not the only one I know like this, but I'm using her as my target practice today. Thankfully Hannah doesn't know that I have a blog...

Here's the story: I do not feel sorry for anyone. I do but I don't. does that make sense? I mean yes, if your parent dies, ok I feel sorry for you. Yes, I can find some sympathy for the raging bitch inside of you - I have her too. Yes, I know it sucks when the kids get sick - I can feel a little bad for you...but it stops there.

I do not need daily updates, or hourly, on how much your life sucks. Unless you got married when you were in some sort of coma, or they blindfolded you and put ear plugs in your ears and pushed you to the alter - you knew who you were marrying. (Yes, husbands can be a lot of work - but I would venture to say that most of them don't change drastically - I can talk about divorce on another day).

Unless you had some sort of immaculate conception or you woke up to your husband finishing his business which got you pregnant - you knew what you were doing.

I'll be honest...My timing between kid 2 & 3 wasn't my "choice". I would have liked them spaced out a little...but...I am fully aware of how I got pregnant and why. I can't complain about it - in fact I fixed it so it wouldn't happen to me again.

My kids are absolutely butt nuts today (today thing 2 is crying at nap time because he wants to sleep in thing 1's bed. I said go ahead. He then cried cause he wanted to sleep in his bed. I said go ahead. I have stopped going in there now). I have to say that somedays I want to hide from them. But I don't think I've ever done it. And I think I have the decency in my life to realize that I'm not the only one who feels like this, and no my kids are not the worst in the world (there are kids that like to set things on fire...thankfully those kids are not mine...yet).

And since we're talking about this, why would you want to out do someone with the negative things in your life? Why would you choose this to compete with? is it because it's all you feel you have to win with? That's ridiculous. Maybe even commitable.

I like to say we all have our own cross to bear. It's so ridiculous to think that your life is so much worse than everyone else's. I mean come on. The person I'm talking about has a home, has 2 really cute kids, has a husband who helps sometimes at least, has family nearby in case of emergencies...sorry. The boat has sailed for me. I have lost the ability to feel bad for a person that in some respects has it all.

The last stop for the complain train is here...

Monday, May 23, 2011

Suck it Betty Crocker

I love to cook. I love to bake. I love spending time in my kitchen in general. I have a good time. I like trying new things.

I am NOT a huge recipe follower. I'm more of a dumper when cooking (baking I follow cause you have to). So when I choose to follow a recipe to try something new, I expect it to be good.

I made 2 chicken dishes in the last couple of weeks. Followed the recipe to a t. Dotted every I. Dashed every dash of spice. Everything.

They both sucked.

To be fair, both were out of the 1971 edition of Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, not Betty. I'll get to her and her damn ways.

So in conclusion, I'm done making new chicken recipes. Both were long cooking events, both of them sucked. Bad.

For Christmas I got the original 1950 Betty Crocker cookbook. umm...what the hell was Betty doing?

I guess 1950 is when housewives were like "ooohhh look we can get that in a can now"...and now we're in a place where a lot of us (or ok me) are trying to get back to scratch. Trying to get at least some of the processing out of our food.

Betty does have some good recipes (she really does), but...she also has recipes for canned fruit pies. Really? dear lord.

Betty also has tips for how to organize your kitchen shelves and where you should place items! On top of that it tells you how to get your kids to help set the table and do your cooking for you (that I might use).

I guess it's hard to look back at that time and criticize...but I am. Those crazy housewives. No wonder people went ape shit when Julia Child came out. I think that is next on my list of things to get.

I just want some cook books that get back to reality. I will use processed foods (get serious...I'm not that much of a super hero) but I want to know how to do it from scratch. I think it's important apparently.

Friday, May 20, 2011


So, most of my "readers" on here know me (I'm not disillusion enough to think I have scores of people who read me just because they found me one day) but there are a few of you out there that don't. So I thought today we'd break a few facts down about me (so maybe you're more understanding about where I'm coming from).

1. I am the middle child. I actually like that about myself. It gives me an excuse for my craziness...I just blame it on middle child syndrome. I am also the only adopted kid in my family - which is weird but not really. I have an older brother and a younger sister.

2. I have been married since 2004, but with my husband since 2001.

3. I am a Michigander, but I was born in Iowa, lived briefly in North Carolina and now have been in New Jersey for 11 years now.

4. I complain about motherhood but it's the only thing I ever knew that I wanted for sure. I have never had true career desires (I can't get a degree cause I can't figure out what to do when I grow up). I knew I wanted to be a mom. I knew I wanted 3 kids. These are things that I wanted, so when I complain about them it's more tongue in cheek than anything else.

5. I actually like my job. People often look down at servers, but I like my job. It's fun and stressful, but the stress stays at work. I don't have to think about a deadline for tomorrow, just about what the specials might be. I love the pace of a restaurant. It's completely different from any place I've ever worked which include a marketing firm, a label company (like battery labels), a construction firm, and a job with the government.

6. I am a dreamer. I will never stop. I drive my husband insane. He isn't as much of a dreamer as I am. I will always want more than I have - this does not mean that I am not happy with what I have - but there is always another goal out there. I love my house, but I'd love one with a pool. That kind of thing.

7. I feel unsupported sometimes by my husband. Honestly? he's a great guy. I'm unfair to him. I complain to him about being overwhelmed by certain things and he tries to support me...and then I get pissed off at him and his support. he's in a losing battle with me. I'm working on it.

8. I have ants in my pants. I want to move away from NJ like you wouldn't believe. I don't necessarily hate it - just like moving to new places and doing new things.

9. I really do like to drink, that is not a joke. I'm not afraid to have a cocktail at the end of my day...or 3.

10. I am a horrible housekeeper. It's not a lie. In fact I am supposed to be cleaning right now. I have clothes everywhere from trying to switch out the seasons in my kids wardrobe. I have dust piles. It's not good. I'd say I'm working on it - but that's a lie, I'm sitting right here.

So there. There are some not so bitchy facts about me that may introduce you more into my world. And why I'm bitching usually.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Need Help

ok so I'm trying to make a facebook page to go with this's the won't accept "the best of the bitch" as a name (duh I don't know why).

So since Facebook is going all PC on me...what should I put? help me!

Too much

As you know I have entered the wide world of baseball. It starts at T-ball. It's adorable. They run around in circles, play with the dirt, and occasionally they look like they know what they are doing. Oldest son is having the best of times. I'm so glad.

but...I almost didn't sign him up. I considered not doing any of this.

I am debating about soccer. I think he would have a great time...but I'm not sure if I can do it.

Sports have gone wild and crazy. When I was a kid I played softball (in prehistoric days before t-ball we went straight into the minor leagues.). It was fun. It was ok. I was never on a rocking team or anything like that but we had fun anyways.

There were some parents that were way to into it. But they were the coaches usually so who cared. People cheered their kids, but I never ever heard of someone criticizing a player. I would hear constructive things like "Hey stop picking the grass, the games the other way" (what can I say when I was 8 years old playing with 12 year olds, I got bored you know?). I would hear things like "good eye" or "keep an eye on the ball" or "good swing" (aka strike!).

I never heard "that girl is so dumb. she should not play". "Who let this kid on the field". Or "We have to win. We want to win the World Series. We won last year".

Nope none of that. But I have heard it now. World series - I laugh at this...because they aren't actually talking about the world series of Little League (which by the way the girls play in my hometown of Kalamazoo). They are talking about a local Little League thing. Kind of like All-Stars from back in my day except it's just the same team, not the best kids from the league.

What I am trying to say is that kids having fun I'm so cool with that. But, I am not cool with the parents. They are obnoxious little things. They yell, they scream, they will even trash talk.


I'm not perfect. I will yell at Son #1 because he's being doofy. I have a policy of you don't have to be the best, but you have to DO your best. So him not picking up his feet to run to first base (cause he's being silly) really grinds my last nerve.

But I'm not going to practice with him at 7 am on a Sunday (I have seen it done.)

I want to encourage, but not force. It's a fine line.

Here's the other part. Last night until after 9:30 there were kids (albeit older kids) playing baseball. We have actual lights on our field. I mean like high school football field lights. They play EVERY night that late. It's a friggen school night?

In the summer? When kids are not in school? ok. I can maybe see that. But on a school night? am I the only one who thinks that is crazy?


When we signed up and got our schedule and all that there was a big bolded notice:

Little League will NOT be taking a break during Spring Break. There will be practices scheduled and Games!

umm ok. That made me laugh. The back ground is that we are a summer tourist destination. Many of us (myself included) can't just take a week off after little league is done in the middle of July. We'd lose way to much money, or we have a business to run or whatever.

We also live in a school district that counts your days (whole different rant and blog). I got a letter after our January trip that I had used up all my vacation days (5) and any further days "off" would result in me being taken to court. "Thanks for your cooperation". Nice huh? Especially considering that my kid is in an optional (not state-mandated) Pre-K program. So taking a vacation during school? Sometimes you can't.

Lord help me. I'm not sure I can do this until he's 12.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Secret Bitching

I apparently am not a nice person. (seriously I wonder about myself).

I secretly chuckle or giggle at a lot of people. I really do.

I also secretly question MANY people. I don't always say it out loud...but I have a lot of questions.

I don't consider myself a better mom because I have 3 kids close in age...but I do consider myself to have gained some sort of wisdom in that time. When I give advice or have things to say I do NOT expect people to fall down and bow to me and listen to every word I say. However, if you asked me for the advice (or asked in general) you could at least consider my thoughts before shooting them down or poopooing them.

While I don't consider myself a super mom (I am far from it...I have doubts about my mothering) I have had 3 vastly different boys that I have kept alive anywhere from 18 months to 5.5 years.

I do *secret bitching* chuckle at some of the people who are so far up their kids asses that they can't remove themselves.

*before we truly begin the secret bitching, as far as I know the people that I am referring to never have even seen my blog and aren't reading...i.e. mostly this is about family*

I have seen a baby spit up (and I use that term loosely - son #1 kept me COVERED in throw up for at least 6 months and this was not that) and seen the parents FREAK out and then wonder if he is hungry now that he spit up. They also changed his clothes. Yes, I did feel superior in that moment. I have to admit. They also made comments about the spit up still being in his mouth. They tried to wipe off his tongue (I am serious.).

I have seen a baby squawk (and yes it was loud) and the mom snatch him up so fast I'm surprised the kid didn't get whip lash. I did consider myself superior in that moment.

I have heard people talk about how busy they are (you know in the way that makes you believe that they are looking for sympathy) and how hard life is...and they have 1 child. Who is a teenager. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking forward to the social life of a teen, but this is a teen who does not have 1 single activity after before or during school. There are no concerts to attend, no lessons to go to, no practice every night, no home or away games. There is bring to school, bring home from school. I would have MORE sympathy if said person worked a lot - had a very stressful job and all that. Nope. 3 part time days a week. That is it. I felt VERY superior when I listened to this whining. I juggle a lot more.

I am no mad genius with the money in my life. I feel like I'm always really "rich" or really "broke". And they happen too close together to make any sense. However, I felt extremely superior when someone was whining about having to move cause their land lord wanted their house. I felt superior because they are trying to stay in an area that they may not be able to afford and I think that is stupid. I felt superior because I worked my ass off, got as many deals as possible, went at an "off" time to save up to go to DisneyWorld while these people took their 4 kids to Aruba for a week in February (when everyone else is there). Have a good vacation, but then finding out that they are renting and "saving" for a house? That didn't make good sense to me. I got more in this category and it is almost all the same people, but you get my point. Housing may just come before Aruba.

Now what would be funny is if you are reading this secretly feeling superior to me and my bitchy self (I deserve it so go ahead).

Monday, May 16, 2011

No More Martini's

I usually know my limits. I really do. But on Saturday night...I forgot. Happens to the best of us doesn't it?

I had a great time though and isn't that what is important?

I had a new babysitter watch the boys.

Why is it so hard to get good help? (and I do realize that I sound ridiculous but I'm serious).

This babysitter is in college so she's an awesome age (like I assume that she can handle the responsibility of 3 wild and crazy boys and I should have no worries. She can drive a car and drove herself to my house and home (WOOHOO). She isn't old enough to drink so she's not going out after I get home (I have had a "curfew" for another babysitter that wanted to go out after I did so I had to be home at a certain time cause the bar was calling).

Now, I do have to say that I came home and everyone was alive and well. So mission accomplished at that.

I also came home to the pizza still being on the table 6+ hours after she got there. I don't expect her to clean the house spotless, but seriously? I left the pizza out for you (told her that) and she couldn't throw it in the fridge? LAME

There was a water spill on the carpet. Now, to be fair my carpet is not nice at this point at ALL. I refuse to spend the money on something nicer until my kids are done chucking food on the floor as a sign of "I'm done". BUT...seriously? You couldn't pick the cup up and throw a paper towel down?


So now I have the choices in babysitters. A college age girl who doesn't seem to get it. Or a high school age girl who's mom refuses to let us drive her home and comes to get her...this should be a bonus, but I feel like I have to be home on time so her mom doesn't get upset.

Now High School girl? She cleans my house!

Good help is hard to find!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Partying Bitch

I have randomly had some sort of social life this week!

We have t-ball 2 nights a week (that counts right?).

We had a funeral (not a joking matter - but we got to see hubs cousins who I love).

Had a girlfriend over today for coffee and bitching! NO KIDS. Many drinks will be involved.

This is what my life has come to. I am so excited I could cry. I'm going out tomorrow. We have a new babysitter who can drive and doesn't have a curfew. Life is good.

I have been looking at the menu for weeks. I have told people at my restaurant that we are coming for drinks after we eat dinner (at a different restaurant). I'm excited.

We are going with 2 couples. Both men work with hubs. 1 couple is a dear dear set of friends of ours. LOVE. Other couple is a guy and a girl who are dating.

Here's the best part. Guy tells hubs and friend that they aren't going to last. He's breaking up with her for many reasons but one reason being that she will text pictures of her dog saying that the dog misses him.

WHY WHY WHY did he tell us all of this BEFORE we went to dinner with them? I am not shy, drinks will be involved...I will probably help them break up right there.

*sigh* I'll update you on this one cause I'm dying to see how it turns out!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

It's a sad state of affairs

My house is ridiculous right now.

We went on a shopping spree. At Ikea. Which is an AWESOME idea, except that now I have boxes EVERYWHERE full of furniture just waiting for me to put together.

Thing 2 now has a big boy bed (and yes, said big boy bed was the cause of a bloody nose the first night he had it cause thing 2 things he's superman and jumped out of his bed and landed on something). He also has a trundle bed under the big boy bed. All completely put together.

We have a new bed *sigh* not even started. And a dresser not even started.

I'm scared.

On top of that, is it spring? Is it winter? Who knows? The clothes are EVERYWHERE. I mean it too. There is a pile of new kid clothes on my floor (in my upstairs room when they live downstairs) right now. There are some in a hall way. There are some in the garage. There are some in their room. There are some in the laundry room. Lord help me.

I am not a spotless clean person by any means (I am serious. My house is never spotless...maybe 1 room will be but that is the.end.). But even I am starting to get claustrophobic at all the crap that is scattered throughout my house. The clothes having no home. The amount of work that it is going to take to get all of it together.

I want a maid who does this shit for me.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


A to the Men. Spring has sprung.

My flowers are planted (YEA! early for me but YEA done).

We grilled steak last night - first grill of the season. YEA.

It is sunny and beautiful (it has been for DAYS).

Our deck at work is open (I do not work it, but I enjoy drinking at it).

I am close to being able to put the winter clothes away and officially move the summer clothes in (I right now have clothes literally everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I have summer clothes scattered that I've bought, but it's been too cold to get rid of winter. And I do not have enough room for the boys to have both sets just hanging around.)

The almost 3 year old has discovered the fascinating world of blowing bubbles in the back yard and can be amused out there for an hour. YEA.

It's Spring. And it feels good.

This is weather that I can get on board with. It's not humid. It's a nice 70 degrees MAYBE. I'm not sweating. I'm not. Which is good.

I am dreading actual summer and looking forward to it at the same time. (yes I have issues, more than you will ever know).

I like the easy breezy days of summer. But, I end up craving the schedule of school by like mid July.

I like being busy at work and making money. I do not like waiting in traffic, or having walmart be too busy to shop.

I like the fact that I live so close to the beach (bragging rights), but I hate the beach (sand thing).

I like having the windows open, but every time I do (when it's hot) the wind dies and it burns up in here!

All the restaurants are opening back up around here (many are seasonal) so YEA! but it gets so busy you can't get in them.

There are just so many pro's and con's of summer for me. But I always like the change of seasons.

Hope Spring has sprung in your backyard.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Happy Mother's Day (a day late)

Spring is finally here in NJ. It's a beautiful day outside, and it has been beautiful for more than one day at a time! FINALLY!

Yesterday was Mother's Day. Did you call your mom?

I called my mom yesterday. I got to sleep in until 8:50 (unheard of). I did not get anything served to me in bed, but that is part of the sleeping in. My husband knew if he had brought me something it might have made me he left me in blissful peace.

I got a camera from my husband! YEA! I picked it out and ordered it, but he is picking up the tab. LOVE.

I got a card from my boys. The big one signed and drew on it. Love.

On Friday I got to go to the big one's school for a Mother's Day Tea. It was so sweet and he get SO excited everytime I go to his school for something. I'm going to miss these days for sure.

here comes the bitch (you didn't think this would all be roses did you?)

I had to work yesterday. ok not a huge deal I work every Sunday. but instead of having to go in at my usual 4 pm, nope I had to be in at 1 pm. ok not horrible, did it on Easter and I made pretty decent money so ok.

Yesterday was a horrible day for us waitresses. I never even thought about it. Kids pay on Mother's Day. My restaurant is not cheap. Kids run out of money to tip. I got 2 (yes 2) 10% tips. I NEVER get tips like that. I don't think I'm the best server in town, but I'm not bad either. I almost always average 18-20% at the end of the night. Last night? 15%.

On top of the shitty tippers, it wasn't terribly busy! I don't know if Easter was too close to Mother's Day this year (we were busy on maybe people didn't want to come back to us?) Or because it was such a nice day (which we have been waiting for) that people decided to go the BBQ route? Not sure at all but it was not good.

I had sucked it up, went into work with my cheery face on, and by 6 pm that cheery face was GONE. *And so you know - I am actually known for being happy at work. I like my job usually. I like most of the people I work with. Grumpy waitresses do not make good money. People can feel your grump. So most nights I am pretty happy there, ready to make money and have fun.*

Meh. I'll get over it, but I don't understand on Mother's Day how people short changed a working mom, who did not get to spend Mother's Day at home being pampered. I completely don't understand people. Mother's Day is a day for extra tipping when you find out your server is a mom! DUH

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Update on 2011 Bucket list

ok so only 1 thing crossed off so far;) but I am running short on time today - so a reminder of my goals and my one thing crossed off;)

1. Lose 40 more pounds.

2. Buy "real size" dress for my birthday!

3. Do the 30 day shred Level 3

4. Have a clean garage

5. Get middle son potty trained

6. Pay off the mini-van

7. Do the water park at the boardwalk

8. Get family portrait done

9. Use my day spa gift cert that I've had for 1.5 years now

10. Be nice for one whole entire day

11. Take each kid out separately with hubs

12. Take everyone to the Aquarium

13. Look into possible office work from home

14. Do the beach

15. Eat at Jen Carroll's restaurant from Top Chef

16. Go gambling.

17. Buy real shoes, not for work, not flip flops but actual shoes

18. Clean out one of our attics

19. Make it through the holidays and family functions without yelling at anyone

20. Plan a vacation for 2012

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I'm a T-Ball Mom

This is my son the T-ball player

He's all bat and no run. God love him we forgot to tell him after he hits that he needs to run. He had so much fun though.

Here's the bitchy part.

The other team was more than ridiculous. They called him out after this hit (which is his first time to bat ever in his little 5 years). They got the ball to first and called him out.

There are NO OUTS in t-ball. Every kid lines up to hit. They hit they run to the base. Every single kid gets to bat. So why would there be outs?

The other teams coaches called him and I think 3 other kids out. Are you kidding me?

I am not cut out for this. I almost ran on the field. I almost did.

This is the first game and apparently the other team has practiced...a lot.

I asked another mom (who's husband is coaching another team) about it. She said there are no outs. Then proceeded to tell me that on opening day the coach in question was a giant A-hole. He told his team that they are soldiers and they were marching on the field in an orderly manner. The rest of the t-ball teams were just happy that our kids made it on the field so we could take their pictures.

If this guy is like this the next time we play? I am not going to reserve it. I'm not going to be nice. Why would you act like that?

So, moral of the story is that my son had a blast. He hit the ball, stood in the wrong place, watched balls go by him, jumped around like a goof ball, faced the wrong way and I got some great video and pictures. So happy he had fun.

But that other coach better watch it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Ridiculous posting

I am a rabid fan of sites like Lamebook, Passive Aggressive Notes, Baby Center Fails , and STFU Parents. I love reading about how crazy people can post on facebook, how dumb they are in notes, what they will say about their parenting skills or lack there of...and I'm also secretly afraid that I will find myself on there one day. So I check them religiously to make sure that I am not listed! Even the Mommy's from Rants from Mommyland have gotten in on the act. And I'm with them.

I love Facebook in general. Let's get serious. I have a lot of fun on there. I live far away from most of my friends and family, so I get to catch up on there on what's going on in their lives. Part 2 is that during the day it's usually my only real connection with adults - that and reading/writing/commenting on blogs. Yes I lead a very thrilling and exciting life.

Here's what I don't love. Ridiculous posts. And for the most part, none of the ones that I have seen will show up on one of the crazy blogs...but the posts are enough to send me personally over the edge.

My facebook friends that are reading this are going to think that this is all about the Osama posts that I am protesting today. That is the final nail in the coffin for me, but it is not all of what I'm talking about.

I am more protesting the passive aggressive posts with this blog. A family member posted today "OMG SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO CLUE" on her facebook with all caps. This family member is mid to upper 40's and is yelling at people on facebook. More to the point, I think she is yelling at me:)

I had the nerve today to make a joke *gasp* that it took a Democrat to get the job done. and then I put in the same post that is was a JOKE:) Apparently she doesn't like my humor. That's ok. Not everyone gets me and my sick jokes. But wow. The drama of me having an opinion (even if it was a joking opinion) that differs from someone. The horror.

Or, I have had numerous posts that I have read that say similar thing, "oh people are so annoying" leaving all of your facebook friends to wonder if you are talking about them. Or "people piss me off on facebook". And I have been guilty of doing it myself...but I know I'm being passive aggressive and do it on purpose (I'm not an angel - I am a bitch remember?).

Sometimes I feel like being on Facebook downgrades us to acting like junior high kids.

I'm on a Facebook group that is super secret and private:) It's a mommy group. I actually have someone in the super secret private group that has blocked me from reading her posts IN the super secret private group. I have to say if you hate me that much, why are you still there? (I'm somewhat "loud" in the group so it's not like you're escaping me...I also have friends in the group that will tell me what I missed).

*sigh* I may miss the good old days before facebook, I'm not sure yet though.

Friday, April 29, 2011

so many topics so little time

I have SO much to say today (between Royal Wedding, RHONYC last night...) but I'm veering away from what's happening in the world and selfishly talking about me. Meh it's my blog and I'll type about me if I want to.

I would have to say that I wasn't the nicest girl in high school. I wasn't the meanest, but I wasn't the nicest either. There are still people I feel bad about. I don't think (at least not to my knowledge) that I was down right mean to them, but I wasn't friendly either.

As an adult (if I can call myself that!) there have been numerous people that I've reconnected with that maybe I wasn't best friends with in high school and that feels good. Even if it's just the facebook friendship with the occasional "Oh your kids are adorable" or reading their status and going - yup we have a lot in common that I never realized.

That being said, I wasn't as bitchy as some might think either.

While we were in Michigan I hooked up with a group of friends that honestly we were always friendly in high school but not in a talk on the phone every night kind of way. But as adults we have a BLAST together...except one person.

On this trip my husband came with us and we had a couple of boys from school there too. My husband has met most of these people once or twice and a couple of them never. He has no clue as to what's going on, who's really great friends with who, blah blah blah.

I went outside with a couple of people during the evening (I tend to float away when drinking especially if led). I left hubs at the table. He was fine...until the one person opened her mouth. We're going to call her Sam for clarity although that's not her name.

Sam and I never truly hung out. I wasn't mean to her we just never had a ton in common although we had a few friends in common so we'd see each other occasionally. We never fought, never had any grudges that I know of nothing.

I am assuming that the group I went out with hangs out semi regularly when I'm not in MI, but let's be clear this was a school night and a definite "Heather is in town we're going out" kind of night. It was NOT a "let's go out, oh Heather is coming too".

Sam was rude the whole night (this happened last time I was home too same group but no hubs). She'll interrupt a story I'm telling to say "What's the point of this". That kind of rude. I'm sorry if I'm not always entertaining...but...

Anyhoo - point. While I was away from the table she turned to everyone left there (including hubs) and said "Heather is really loud". Hubs was like WHAT? but didn't actually say WHAT cause like I said, he had no idea what was going on and didn't want to be offensive or upset me (He is so sweet). Another girl said "Heather is just fun" (LOVE HER).

But, I have to ask, Why would you come out if you have such an issue with me? Why would you have the balls to say something in front of my hubs? Is she just that miserable?

On one hand I could care less, but it poses some questions for me. Not sure what the issues were, but maybe she can just stay home next time...which leads to my question...How do I get her to not come? One of the girls in the group babysits her kids during the day, one cuts her hair (the dutch mafia inter-tangling). How can I ask that she not get the invite?

People have issues and it's not just me:)

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Losing it

I feel fat today, mainly because of yesterday but I need to include some of last week in this feeling too.

I have promised myself no more dieting. I am sticking to that promise. But included in the promise to myself, I have promised no more binges. A pint of ice cream is ok every once in a while, but not ever night. A few jelly beans are alright, but do I need the whole bag kind of binging?


I grew up in a house with VERY few treats. We rarely had potato chips instead we were given pretzels. We almost never had candy or ice cream or dessert in general. I got out of that house and proceeded to go to every fast food restaurant in town, and I would top it off with Ice Cream for dinner.

The one time we did have treats was on vacation. On vacation my mom had candy in the car. On vacation we would get a bag of chips and a 12 pack of pop. On vacation we could go out for ice cream.

I was on vacation last week. And during that vacation I drove 24 hours (12 there 12 back) on a Friday during Lent. And seeing that I am now Catholic (converted a few years ago) I can not eat meat on Friday during lent. So that truly narrowed the choices of restaurants when eating food at the turnpike rest stops. So...I packed the car with snacks and junk.

Fine right? 2 days doesn't undo a lot.

Except it wasn't just 2 days.

One day we went out to a restaurant (it's easy when we are with my parents - we actually have more adults than kids! YEA). The restaurant had some good sandwiches (I had a gyro which I love), but the specialty of the house was sundae's. So of course I had to have one, on top of the gyro and fries. One day I made cinnamon rolls for everyone (home made from scratch - delicious if I do say so myself). Of course I had to try one. or well 2. One day we celebrated my parents birthday with out to lunch (steak and scallops thank you) then went home and had a giant slab of cake. One day we ordered take out and I got the most delicious grinder (can't get them that good in NJ) but the kicker is I have to have Mayo on my grinder (otherwise what is the point). It was yummy.

All of the vacation slips added up I am thinking.

Then yesterday, oh lord help me yesterday.

I gave up popcorn for lent. I have missed it. I took my son out for a date night and we met with some of his friends from his old preschool. We went to a hibachi grill for dinner (YUM!) Steak and Scallops again (YUM never gets old). We then went to the movies. Honestly? I was somewhat full from dinner BUT...I gave up popcorn for lent. And since I go to the movies maybe 3-4 times a year I ALWAYS get popcorn cause it's not an every week occurrence for me.

So now I've had a big dinner, a BIG thing of popcorn (please don't forget the butter) and a large Mountain Dew (umm another thing I've given up except for treat days...and if they have Fountain Dew I'm in - that's a treat not an every day thing anymore).

You could have rolled me out.

So here's the real reason behind this post. I am now scared of my scale.

The Easter Bunny has been to my house (although I am slowly sending more and more candy to work with my husband). But the bunny still did his damage. I have been on vacation. I have driven in my car long distance with no chance of a real meal. I have been out to eat tons. I have sat in a movie theater.

All of these are occasions that I have given myself to relax about the food. They are not things that all happen a lot in my life, so I'm ok with treating myself then.

The true problem is that they are NOT supposed to all happen within a two week period.

So right now I'm scared. I don't want to ruin a day with getting myself on the scale knowing in my head that it is going to be up, but not knowing how much up it is going to be.


Bought lots of lettuce at the store this week.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sick of it

I am feeling bitchy today, which in itself is not a newsflash at all, but given that I don't actually have a specific reason it might be noteworthy.

I do not have pms.

I do not have out of control kids today.

I do not have to work.

I am not overtired.

I have ate lunch so I am not hungry.

I am not fighting with my husband.

Actually I am going out with my oldest son tonight to meet some of his friends for dinner and a movie. I should be happy!


I want to tear into people badly. I want to bitch at them like no other (don't be scared I probably won't do it but it is tempting).

I want to reply to every know it all person I know.

I want to write half of the Real Housewives and tell them they are nuts (cause I know that they would be upset to hear that from me).

I want to shout my frustrations from my roof.

Ever have these days?

Maybe it's the weather? It is definitely warming up here, but seriously the wind will not STOP!

I want to plant a garden this summer, but I'm afraid of the commitment. That's just plain sad isn't it?

I am having a messy day apparently. I just think I should probably stay somewhat quiet and hope that no one gets in my way cause I don't think I'd be very polite about it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

It's getting Royal out there

*I apologize right here and now for those that would like this to be a bitchy post. It is not. It is a sick love fest. I'm slightly embarrassed. Sorry. I will be bitchy tomorrow. Or maybe even later today:0)*

The Royal wedding is approaching at a fast rate. Some of you may expect me to be bitchy about it - but honestly? I'm so friggen excited I could cry.

When Diana got married I was 5 and my mom was NOT into this stuff. So I never knew it happened. When Fergie got married I was on vacation in DC and my dad said we aren't watching that. *sigh* When the youngest Windsor got married did they even have it televised? I have no idea but I wasn't really into them.

So now, Diana's son is getting married and I'm all in. I am waking up at 3 am (you didn't expect that this bitch would pay for a DVR did you?) making coffee and lying in bed watching it. I'm excited to say the least.

I can't wait.

I am the person that people called to check on the day Diana died. Yup I really am.

I am not so insane that I would have paid $50,000 for a dress she once wore, or have a room devoted to her and dolls and all that. But I did go see her dresses on display once upon a time. I have read a lot of books about her.

Now we are going to have a new princess. She's younger than me. Not sure if I like that. I'm wondering if I'm really going to like her. So far I do. She's adorable. I wonder what the Queen thinks.

Ok - enough gushing for me. I'm catching up on reality tv still, I should be back to my normal bitchy self tomorrow.

Anyone else watching?

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Holy cow. I'm back. whew. That was actually a long and somewhat fun (depends on the day) week. I visited (with 3 kids and a husband) my family in Michigan. true bitchy's my bitches of the week!

1. it rained everyday except 2. Of those 2 one day it snowed a few inches. I have pictures. I will post them. it was frocken ridiculous!

2. Family pictures. All I wanted to get was one family picture, and one picture of the boys. Umm...DUH I forgot to get the boys by themselves! I'm not dumb. I had arrived in MI at close to midnight on Friday night and then turned around and had family pictures done at 10 am on Saturday. (maybe I am dumb). There were 15 of us. We were moving quickly cause thing 3 was in a mood (to say the least). oh well. Mission accomplished on the family picture.

3. Cheap family members. *sigh* I am not extravagant in buying myself clothes, shoes or just about anything. I like my coupons, I like my sales. But when it comes to gift giving? I pretty much go as all out as I can. Not so with some of my family members. We split the pictures 3 ways as a gift for my mom and dad (birthday). We got a TON of sheets for all of us and a big "painted" one for my parents. The split bill? $78 per person. ummm CHEAP! Someone *ahem* wanted to go through and count the sheets and divide no. I had a coupon (aha!) that we got 8 sheets at $8 and then after that it was $2. so who cares if my brother got an extra sheet or if I did. it was $2 and not worth the hassle of a calculator.

4. Ungrateful people. Same cheap family member (are you seeing a bitter theme?). I brought a room full of baby clothes. I really did. I had saved last years baby clothes to sell or donate or whatever. then I got a new nephew. So I kept saving and packing up. minivan was full. My oldest could barely get his seat belt buckled cause there were bags of clothes next to him. some people don't know how to say thank you. guess that saves me from having to bring out more bags.

5. The weather. Did I mention that already?

6. Living so far away from some really awesome people. Hubs and I got to go out with some of my high school friends one night and we had SO much fun. Miss that kind of stuff!

7. Driving 12 hours in the rain. Did I mentioned that it rained while I was in Michigan? also rained 12 hours when I drove home!

8. Gas prices - what the hell is going on? Why are they allowed to yank our chain? To my knowledge no oil fields have dried up in the past month. No refinery's have closed. What the hell is the problem?

9. Grinders. I can't get a good grinder in NJ (which maybe ok considering my hiney size). I miss grinders. Yes, we have better cheese steaks, hoagies, and well...a lot of other things. But I love a grinder!

10. Knowing that I won't get to go home until December. meh. :)

I'll be back in full swing this week. Hoping to get caught up on my tv and then maybe we can discuss some crazier bitches than just me!

Monday, April 18, 2011

On Vacation

Sorry - didn't give a warning :) This bitch is on Michigan...with snow. Happy Spring Break:)

I'll be back soon with some very bitchy thoughts!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Reality Tuedsay

Anyone out there watching Bethenny Ever After? I have to say I'm not religious about it (like I am with housewives) but I'm enjoying it.

She's gotten a lot of bad "press" in terms of the bloggers out there, but I have to disagree. I like it. I think it's cute and more real than most reality shows. I love the fact that it shows the newlyweds fighting. UMM duh. They met, got pregnant, got engaged, got married and now have a baby all within what? 2 years? On top of that Bethenny has a pretty big business going now and I know Jason works (just have no idea what he does).

I've read blogs (and blogs comments) that Bethenny needs to stop whining about her childhood blah blah blah. I don't know if the people writing this are parents or not...but I remember having my first son. Everything was overwhelming. Life was overwhelming. I felt my relationships rocked by it. Life was just not even close to being the same. And the bad part is - I had NO idea any of this was going to happen!

We had our first son 2 weeks after our first wedding anniversary. And we built an addition while I was pregnant. And then our first son came 4 weeks early. WE WERE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO PREPARED! That's the honest truth. And I AM a baby person. Babysat my way through high school and even after. LOVED being around kids and babies. I don't see Bethenny as having that before she had her own. Yes, friends had babies around her, but I don't feel like she spent days with them.

So I'm saying all of this in defense of her (and who knew that I felt so protective over her? odd). If she needs to revisit her past to get herself straightened out? Good for her. Life is overwhelming. If you need to understand your past to get yourself to move forward...isn't that a GOOD THING?

ok - end Bethenny Rant.

What did you guys think of the premiere of NYC Housewives?

Here's and "interview" with crazy Kelly:) it's funny

I have to say that Jill Zarin is one crazy bitch - she really is isn't she? Who keeps telling people (and the camera's) that you've changed and you're SO NICE now and then says "That Alex McCord is such a fucking bitch" tee hee - her excuse on Andy Cohen's talk show that night? is that she didn't say it to those women, she said it to producers...more or less that she wasn't going to get caught on camera saying it. That was her excuse. That she wouldn't get caught.'s a little article about Jill and her new look (did you see it? cause OMG wow on What what happens live? she looked like a complete doofus) She does appear to have gotten freshened up a bit...or a lot.:)

As for the rest of it, watching Luann makes me uncomfortable. Truly. She sceeves me I guess. I like Alex most of the time and actually I like Ramona too. Ramona is catching hell for being so horrible in the interviews...but come on. If you have an interview with Ramona - 1 you should know who you are interviewing with...and there is plenty of crazy Ramona footage out there and 2 - she's somewhat right...if this is what an interview with her is like imagine working for her. So, why would she pretend to be all sweet and nice and warm and fuzzy? nah - you go ahead Ramona.

Not sure if I like the new girl or not. Jury is still out.

Anyone watching the OC Housewives? I work on Sundays so I don't get to see every episode of them either right now.

anyhoo - along with my reality obsession I have championed a blog obsession...have you guys ever read Lynn in Chicago? funny lady who covers most reality shows;)

What's on tonight?

Monday, April 11, 2011


I am constantly thinking in my head of what I can blog about the next day. I try to keep the topics varied so I don't bore anyone including myself. I have tried to not make this a strict mommy blog talking only about my kids (those are fine but not what I'm trying to write).

I sometimes dip into politics, I love talking about reality tv, I will comment about mommy life, I like talking about weight loss and listening for ideas, and sometimes my kids do get into here.

Thinking of a topic for today I was somewhat stumped. I thought maybe I'd do one on the baking that I've done recently (outdid myself this week-end with a huge layer cake in the colors of the rainbow *Pats self on back*) but meh. It didn't feel so exciting.

Then I got an idea that pointed out to me in no uncertain terms that I have become super boring and old. Want to know what it was?

I was considering writing about the cleaning I've been doing and how I have discovered the joys of cleaning with vinegar and baking soda through out the house.

Yes you read that correctly. I was truly going to come here and post about vinegar and baking soda.

What the hell happened to me? I was KNOWN for being a rock star. I have proudly drank many men under the table and walked out without stumbling once. I am known for telling crazy stories and hanging out WAY to late. Hell I've even been known to go on a ghost hunt or two with camera's to catch the evidence!

Now I apparently think I should be known for cleaning? *which is partly hysterical considering I don't do as much of it as I should.* I don't mind being known for baking things *cause I consider that a challenge worth of pride*, but seriously baking soda and vinegar?

I used to drive a convertible. When I was living in MI I bought a Sebring. I was smoking hot. I had lost weight, looked awesome (if I do say so myself), and drove with my top down when ever possible. In MI I would get looks everywhere I went. When I moved to NJ I learned that no matter how much fun a Chrysler convert. is not as awesome as a Mercedes. But...I still had fun.

When the Sebring died it's LONG, EXPENSIVE and PAINFUL death, I bought a little Jetta. I didn't mind. She was so cute. And she was a stick, so she was a fun little car to drive.

Then it happened. I bought a minivan. People don't look at me like I'm cool. They look at me like I'm a mom. When I'm driving without kids I have the windows down and Eminem blaring. I don't get looks like "oh look at that hottie listening to some awesome music" I get the "why the hell is that old lady listening to Eminem?"

*banging head on my keyboard*

I have done it. I'm old and boring. It's horrible. And what's even more horrible is that I JUST REALIZED IT. How long have I been hanging out and thinking I was cool and well...not?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I'm running out of time!

I leave for my big Michigan journey in exactly 5 days. AUGH.

In that time I need to catch up the laundry (they were flushing the lines on my island during the past week...which can sometimes turn the water brown that day - so I did almost no laundry cause I didn't want to deal with getting the brown water marks out). Catching up laundry of 2 adults and 3 kids? 3 little kids that go through what seems like an abnormal amount of clothes? Not so easy.

I need to pack 4 of us. My hubs is a great packer and does his own. I need to pack for a family picture, a baptism (new nephew) and for I don't know what kind of weather. *sigh*

I need to organize my car, but first I should try cleaning it. My car is a disaster. I mean disaster. So I need to vacuum, throw away, blah blah blah. Then I need to get it ready for the trip. Which entails finding all the dvd's and putting them in the right cases:)

I need to pack the fun bag and food bag. Fun bag - dvd's with easy access, Leapster, Mobi go, maybe coloring? not sure.

Food bag. *sigh* this is where it gets complicated. We are driving out on Friday. And it's Lent. *sigh* I may see if my husband will let us cheat and eat meat. No one besides me likes Tuna or Egg Salad. Eating at the rest stops will only have meat to my knowledge (maybe a fish sandwich...but yuck). I have learned to pack abnormal amounts of food and drinks for the kids though. They are REALLY good in the car if they are fed and not thirsty. Plus, well, I don't get them fully out of the car a lot. It takes 3 times as long and they are ALWAYS cranky in rest it doesn't seem to "help" them. and drink...have to get thinking about what I can bring.

I want (although this isn't a true "need") to have my house in somewhat decent order when we leave. It's SO nice coming home to a somewhat decently clean house. So I'm working on that.

I also am taking out an obscene amount of clothes for new nephew. I have had 3 boys and now it's time to pay it forward with my hand me downs. I have bags and bags and bags - not sure if they will all fit in the mini-van or not but I'm going to try.

On top of all of the real things that I actually need to comes the bitchy. I need to get over myself. I have had some family issues and I need to just drop it. I still think I'm in the right, and I'm tired of having my feelings hurt, the interest of having a good trip and a nice time I need to zip it. In my head especially.

You know how when you're mad or "done" with someone EVERYTHING they do can be ripped apart? yup. I'm there right now with my sister. Huge long dramatic story, but...I need to figure out how to stop getting my feelings hurt and ALSO need to learn to ignore. This will be the hardest part of my week:) I can pack (I'm getting pretty awesome at it) but...this will be my challenge.

Friday, April 8, 2011

I'm a little late

It's really to late to make new years resolutions given that it's well...April. And my birthday isn't THAT far away to make a list of things to do before I turn *gulp* 35. So I'm going to make a list of things that I would like have happen before then end of 2012. It's neither a bday list or a new years resolution. I'm calling it the 2011 bucket list:)

I don't know about you, but I get inspired reading other people list. I do a lot of "oh yeah - I should TOTALLY do that". Stuff like that. So I hope that you can find some sort of inspiration today from me (bitchy or otherwise) and if not can find humor in my goals (I know I do).

1. Lose 40 more pounds. *I have more to lose than 40, but 40 seems like something that I actually may be able to accomplish this year*

2. Buy "real size" dress for my birthday!

3. Do the 30 day shred Level 3 *I'm barely doing level 1 at this point*

4. Have a clean garage *My garage is huge. I store a LOT of crapolla in it. It's a disaster right now. I think I need a big old dumpster and just pitch all the bs out*

5. Get middle son potty trained *he'll be 3 in June*

6. Pay off the mini-van *rather ambitious but I'm hoping that this summer really pays off at work*

7. Do the water park at the boardwalk *Oldest son is somewhat of a daredevil and LOVES it*

8. Get family portrait done *Ha ha ha - have an appt for next week while we are in Michigan*

9. Use my day spa gift cert that I've had for 1.5 years now

10. Be nice for one whole entire day *maybe this will have to be a day when I don't have kids around me*

11. Take each kid out separately with hubs

12. Take everyone to the Aquarium

13. Look into possible office work from home *My old job in construction could have 95% been done at my house. I'm kind of thinking I should get busy and try to score some similar work with a company that would be willing to hire me from my house*

14. Do the beach *Despite where I live, I am not a beach lover. It's sandy there. On top of that I have 3 young boys, 2 I'm sure that will head straight for the ocean, 1 that will avoid it. 1 might eat sand. AND our beach is LONG...Like the fishing pier doesn't reach the water long. it's ridiculous. So it is quite an adventure to get down to the water so...we'll see about this one*

15. Eat at Jen Carroll's restaurant from Top Chef *It's really Eric Ripert's Restaurant 10 Arts which just heightens my need to eat there*

16. Go gambling. *I used to get to Atlantic City a few times a year, now I'm lucky for one...but I do love it so*

17. Buy real shoes, not for work, not flip flops but actual shoes *would be fun for me. Besides work shoes and flip flops I think the last pair of shoes I bought for myself was in August of 2009 for my sister's wedding. Before that? I couldn't even tell you. and NO I'm not exaggerating at all*

18. Clean out one of our attics *this goes right along with #4. My MIL lived with us for years, which is a completely separate story that I might share one day. All her shit is still in Attic #1 (we have 2). Now...She is alive, well to a point (in her 80's), and still has all her crap stored here even though she doesn't live here. I could actually use that space for something...but no. I mean it has my FIL's old walker. He died in 1997. That's how bad it is up there. Once again - must have dumpster cause it's all getting trashed which will make her mad...I'm not super concerned about it.*

19. Make it through the holidays and family functions without yelling at anyone *this is actually going to be a goal that CAN'T be crossed off until the end of the year...and it might be my toughest*

20. Plan a vacation for 2012 *even if it's just a week-end away somewhere*

ok so that's it. So far. I reserve the right to add to this list whenever I feel like it. And I reserve the right to use long lengthy wordy blogs to update you on the status of all of them:)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Extreme Couponing on TLC

So you all know that I'm a reality show freak. I watch them. I think that I watch almost all reality and no "real" shows. And most of you know that I'm a crazy coupon lady. I love getting a deal. I high five myself and squeal with delight. I try to tell my husband the excitement of a good deal - but he really gets bored listening to my triumphs at the store.

So when I heard that there was a new series on TLC about couponing I got excited. Finally a show I can get into and relate to.

Ummm NO. Get serious. These people represent the average crazy couponer as much as the Real Housewives represent real housewives. Don't get me wrong. I'll tune in every week, but only to rip them to shreds. These people are ridiculous.

So last night we watched a woman buy 77 friggen bottles of mustard. Who the hell uses 77 bottles of mustard? In a year? In a lifetime? I don't care how much you like the stuff (and I do like mustard) but 77 bottles? Coupons come out for mustard ALL THE TIME. It's not like it is a deal that is going to go away and never come back. On top of that? She still paid $.39 for mustard. Ha ha ha bitch - I've gotten mustard for free. *pats self on back*

Then we got to go into some of these crazy bitches houses. Who in their right effing mind has toilet paper stored under their kids beds? Are you serious? I mean...believe me there is stuff crammed under the oldest bed and well...under the crib. but it's stuff that belongs to them (i.e. clothes for the next season, toys) but it's not TOILET PAPER. If you have enough toilet paper to last you and your family 3 years? ENOUGH Stop it. If you have a shelf full of food in your bedroom? that's a problem. If your closet is holding half clothes, half cereal? I think you don't need to shop this week.

Let's talk about the check out lines. What cashier would let you do 18 separate orders if you were not on TV? I admit it - I have done 2 or maybe 3 (when Target gives their $5 gift cards I'll do those items first and use the gift card on my other stuff) but 18? She was checking out for over 1 hour. She's a bitch. That's just mean.

I get agitated when a cashier gives you the eye roll about coupons or whatever. I do I admit it. I don't think it's that tricky to ring in my coupons. And the other night I held up the line at walmart for a $1.00 coupon. But their scanner was wrong and I bought the items and I ended up getting the $1.00. I was embarrassed to do it but I did it.

I would not EVER attempt to do 18 orders. To be in line for an hour. To monopolize the cashiers time like that. That's insane, rude, and a whole bunch of other crazy.

And, can I ask you this...what store would take 77 coupons that are identical? I'm pretty sure that my store locally will only do 4 of a like coupon. Maybe I'm wrong and you can do this crazy shit at other stores, but 77? no. That's INSANE.

No wonder I get eye rolls when I say I'm a couponer. Is this what America thinks we all do?

I have to say I have a stock pile. I do. Right now I have an abundance of cereal. I bought each box for $1 or less. But I'm not going to buy cereal for a LONG LONG time. I have passed several deals up cause I don't need it.

These women have issues. Big ones.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Bitchy Friend

f r i e n d s Pictures, Images and Photos

I have been accused as being a bitch. Including in friendships. I have a long dramatic history with girl I guess more likely than not I have my guard up.

One of the things that I have been accused of is if a friend makes a mistake I'm out. Some of that is completely true. If a "friend" gossips about me, tells people I'm horrible, argues with me for the sake of arguing...I'm out.

My idea is that if you're not bringing something meaningful to my life...then why do I need you?

Some people I can see coming from a mile away, and I can be a friendly acquaintance, but I'll probably never be a friend.

Some people slip under my radar. And what is the saying? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice Shame on me! I don't necessarily live by that saying, but it's a good saying. They invented it for a reason. I don't see any reason as an almost 35 year old mother, wife and woman to keep people close and in my life for dramatic reasons.

Now, if I've known you forever? I'll probably always know you forever. We may not be bff, but we'll always keep in touch some how.

However, if I am just getting to know you and you start the absolute bull shit? WHY would I invite it into my life? Why would I waste the energy of my friendship? Cause I think that friendships DO take energy. I'm not always great at it to the people who I love why would I waste it on someone who is constantly needing sympathy, money, drama and more?

So if you need to think of me as a bitchy friend, by all means do it. But, on my list of "good points" I have to say that I'm pretty fierce about the people I let into my life (which is one of the reasons I'll cut people off too - I'm the type of person who will take a bullet verbal or real for a true friend...if you're going to cause me nothing but bullets and not bring anything to my life...uhh duh).

My current problem is this. I see a person who I would say is more than an acquaintance, but less than a bff being taken advantage of. AUGH. Honestly if it was someone I truly spent time with (either via phone, skype, or real life) I would probably say something. I could get it into real conversation. But this person and I don't really "talk".

The friend in question is being used (in my humble opinion) and she's such a sweet person that she is blind to it. She is always willing to see the best in people (which I think is wonderful but yet leaves her incredibly vulnerable). And me being the bitchy person that I am, can see through the user a mile away.

Said user has used people in the past. She is a person who never takes responsibility for herself and her actions. Whether she is using people for sympathy (don't get me wrong - everyone needs sympathy SOME days...but I have limits when you refuse to change your life) or whether she is using them for money - I have issues with her. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who does...but AUGH.

So I can't just email or text or call and say said person is using you stop letting her. It would be weird and awkward and since I have a high standard for my friends, the blame of bitchiness would get thrown at me and the person would continue to get used.

I don't know what to do to stop it. I don't even know if it's my place to stop it. I just know that I feel like somethings wrong and I can't control it (something I hate).

Any suggestions?

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

More Shopping

Sweet chicken - I am apparently on a roll. I can't stop shopping.

We leave for Michigan soon. We are having a family portrait done. I need something to wear. I have lost enough weight for my shirts to not look great (I mean why do I want to look heavier than I am at this point?) and honestly - I don't buy a lot of dress clothes at this point in my life. I'm basically in my mom uniform most days (some sort of comfy pants and shirt) or I'm in a work uniform of khaki's and a polo. So I want a new shirt. I can dig up some sort of black pants but I NEED a new shirt.

So...when we went to the mall I looked. Nothing.

I live in an area without much shopping close by but we do have a Fashion Bug. I thought Oh I can go there! ummm....has anyone been in a Fashion Bug lately? I wanted to shoot myself. I am not a small girl so I'm still on the big girl side of the store. I do not need to look like a Grandma. I also do not need to wear a sleeveless shirt. Seriously who wants to see these arms up close and personal? no one.

There were bedazzled shirts in there - I swear there was. All I need is a plain type of colorful shirt. NOPE. It was more than frustrating.

So, I am still shirtless.

Then I made the big trip to Walmart. (This trip is all sans kids since I left after I put them to bed).

I know a lot of people have strong opinions about Walmart. I am not one of them. I do not make enough money to not like Walmart. I also don't live in an area where I have a choice. There is a K-Mart and a Walmart. umm....I'll take Walmart anyday. K-mart is randomly expensive and never has exactly what I'm looking for.

I know I know...People think that Walmart is horrible to their employees. I would like you to show me a major retail chain that is NOT horrible to their employees. I have worked (although briefly) at JC Penney's and at Meijers. Neither one was what I would call motivating to employees.

And I know that Walmart drives a lot of small businesses out of town. I get that. That is the one thing that I don't like about Walmart. I've said - I'm not a rich woman. And honestly, if a small local store had great customer service and had things that I needed, I would more than likely buy some items there still. But honestly? I haven't noticed that having a Walmart has changed my shopping that much. I now can just find crap I need locally instead of having to drive 1 hour.

Here is how desperate I am. I even looked for a nice shirt at Walmart. No dice.

I don't know if I have time to order something or not and I'm starting to panic. I hate it that this is going to be a picture to last a LONG time and I have nothing to wear. It's so sad:(

It makes me pissed off actually.

I know I need to lose weight. But I should still be able to buy something nice that isn't jammy like and isn't bedazzled. Why is it so hard to find something decent that isn't horribly ugly?

Banging my head on the wall seems like the right answer at this point.

Any tips? Suggestions?

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Mall

The mall. I admit that I had my mall days. I thought that going to the mall every single week-end was the ultimate of coolness! I really did!

I grew up in the John Hughes Midwest. My husband died laughing when I took him to my parents house for the first time. He said he thought that Molly would come bouncing out of a house at any moment.

I spent years devoted to stores like Claires, The Closet (anyone else remember that store?), The Limited, I.D., and Express. I roamed the mall hoping to find something new and something cheap on my limited babysitting budget. I would always get a Mountain Dew somewhere. Cruise around looking for boys. It was a junior high schooler's heaven.

Flash forward 20 years. I am an internet shopper. I order almost all of my clothes, almost all of the boys clothes. Our UPS guy knows me. When our dog was still alive, he brought bones for the doggie cause he knew our house. We currently live about an hour away from the closest mall, and I thought that was my reason for so much internet shopping.

No. That is not why.

I and the three boys and the husband went to the mall on Saturday. Heaven help me. It was horrible.

Oldest son has decided to have a huge growth spurt and has been sporting high waters for a while now. It's shameful. So...he needed some new clothes. Given the fact that he's a string bean...I wanted him to try some pants on. We thought "Oh we'll go to the mall".

We drove up to Philly to look at furniture at Ikea (LOVE) and then hit a mall maybe too close to Philly on our way home.

There were almost no parking spaces (first sign I should have left and gone home). We get in and there are people everywhere. I mean Sears was busy for pete's sake.

I go into Children's Place. Sweet chicken. Women everywhere. Kids running around like wild indians. Tried pants on the big one. Went to get in line. Thankfully husband took kids out of the tiny store.

childrens place Pictures, Images and Photos

A woman in front of me was disappointed that she couldn't double coupons and children's place cash (or whatever it is called) and she is yelling at the store associates. Because it must be them who is setting the store policy's. A woman cuts in line and (this did make me mad) the sales person helped her and let her check out (we were in line for like 15-20 minutes).

I do not need to venture to the mall anytime soon. People are crazy. There were 5 in our party. 1 double stroller, 3 walking. I got cut off by people, people who would push us out of their way to get in front of us (you know you have to hurry to get to the sales).

This girl is warming up the computer...apparently people like me should ONLY internet shop