Momzilla's. Defined by the urban dictionary as...
Usually a mother --but could be a childless woman (rare!)-- whose good mothering traits such as concern for others and knowing better get blown to massive Japanese-lizard proportions, thus rendering them annoying and complicated people with whom you don't want to spend a second longer than you must. An overbearing bitch of a mom who's always right. Combination of "mom"+"Godzilla." See also momster
They are every where. Trying to avoid the momzilla's in life is the equivalent of trying to avoid Mickey Mouse at DisneyWorld. They track you down. They can smell a new mom from 20 paces. They will become a friend based in new mommyhood friendship and then...wham. Out of no where. Advice, which is not really advice but more like a lecture. The competition. Which is just that.
Real mom's give each other advice. We do. I'll be the first one to say well this worked for me or it worked for kids A & C, but this worked for kid B. We share, and sometimes those sharing tips help a sister out.
Momzilla advice? It's not like that. It's not sharing ideas. It's not bouncing things off of each other. It's "Well this worked in our house so it must be the gospel. and on top of working in my house, it's what I chose and researched. Therefore everyone who doesn't follow my method is stupid, irresponsible, negligent, and pretty much a horrible person."
All people share notes. I recently was chatting with a mom at kid A's swim practice. She has 2 sons (ages 9 & 6) and a daughter around 20 months. I asked her is daughter talking? The refreshing non-momzilla answer - "not really. a few words". AMEN. It was a breath of fresh air. We shared notes all of swimming practice. I might be in love with this woman.
Momzilla sharing notes. "Oh well my child has been talking, walking, singing, dancing since she was 6 months old. She's very advanced." I'm not even joking. If I hear "very advanced" from a mother - I immediately tune her out and sing songs in my head. Me and my not advanced kids just hear the peanuts "blah blah meh meh".
I have to say that being a momzilla? Must be exhausting. I can barely keep up with not being an overachieving mom. How hard it must be to be the first parent to sign their child up for every activity (whether they are the right age or not. I include the parents who bribe their way into sports or whatever else when their kids don't meet the age requirements into the momzilla category). Since Momzilla's kids are so superior she has her hands full. Classes, training, pushing their kids to ensure that they are number one at all times.
I will be honest: my own mother can be a little momzilla'ish at times. Kid A and kid B have 2nd cousins almost the exact same age - within months. Grandmazilla was constantly asking if they were walking, talking, blah blah blah. I finally said - "no they aren't in a race. They will do it when they do it." So some of the momzilla issues hit close to home for me.
I admit, instead of competing with the momzilla's and their brilliant offspring, I have become the anti-momzilla which may be just as horrible. I don't update my facebook on a continual basis about what my kids have accomplished (all mom's have a proud moment, please don't take me wrong), I don't push probably should push at somethings but I don't, and I have taken to tracking down momzilla's and trying to point out that they are in fact BEING a momzilla. Not very nice. Guess that's why I get the bitchy title.
The moral of my story, is that none of us are perfect parents. But, wouldn't life be so much easier if we all (myself included) would give each other a friggen break? Celebrate the highs together, but don't expect me to celebrate EVERY FRIGGEN NEW WORD THAT YOUR GENIUS SAYS. Celebrate the milestones but please don't expect me to believe that your child has hit every milestone months or even years early. Post that your kid is smart - all of us think that about our kids (well most of the time) but don't tell me how smart your kid is in a way that suggest that he is superior to my kids.
Is 10 am to early for vodka?
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